Kris Vallotton • November 1, 2019

13 Signs You’re Humble

Many of today’s Christian circles have twisted humility into an excuse to be religious, self-deprecating and deterrent of all encouragement or praise. Perhaps you’ve observed this all-too-familiar occurrence in Church: someone preaches a powerful message on stage and you tell them they did an amazing job. Their knee-jerk response is, “Oh, that’s not me! That’s God. All the glory to Him.” While I see that the intention behind this attitude is to be humble, it’s actually missing the point.

It also begs the question — why do we feel the pressure to remove ourselves from the picture until we fade away into an abyss of invisibility? Why are we so uncomfortable with reward, honor and accolades?

Avoiding compliments isn’t a sign of humility but rather a lack of awareness of God’s glory and greatness in you… and it’s actually not the fruit of a humble heart.

YOU CAN'T STEAL GOD'S GLORY!

You were born to be amazing—in the very image and greatness of God. I find that one of the biggest deterrents for owning your greatness is the fear of stealing God’s glory. If you don’t want to steal God’s glory, then here’s some good news: you ain’t that big! And get this... the truth is you can’t steal something that was given to you!

In John 17:22 Jesus is praying for His disciples and says, “The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one;”

Remember, you can’t steal God’s glory because He gave it to you. I’m not talking about being arrogant or haughty. I’m simply pointing out that we were not commissioned to arise and disappear but rather to arise and shine!

If we misunderstand humility we will sacrifice self-love in the name of being Christ-like. And today I’d like to propose that it’s got to stop!

YOU CAN'T LOVE OTHERS WITHOUT FIRST LOVING YOURSELF

Jesus said, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 19:19, emphasis added). It is surprising how much of an impact those two little letters, “a-s”, can have on a person’s life. Your neighbors, coworkers, spouse, kids, and friends are all being dramatically affected by this two-letter word. In fact, I propose that this tiny word is in charge of your finances, rules your emotional state and dictates how you relate to God.

“What?” you protest. “That’s ridiculous!”

Let me explain: The word “as” means “the same.” In other words, we can read this great commandment this way—love your neighbor the same way (or to the same level) as you love yourself. Since love looks like something, in other words, it’s more than empty words, your behavior toward your neighbor is a reflection of how you feel about yourself. What I’m getting at is that the best thing you can do for the people around you is to love yourself.

The great apostle Paul echoes these sentiments when he says, “Husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church” (Ephesians 5:28–29, emphasis added) There is that tiny word “as” again, but this time instead of helping a neighbor, it is saving a marriage. This two-letter word demands an answer to a profound question: How do you feel about you?

HUMILITY IS NOT FEELING BAD ABOUT YOURSELF

You may have been taught that humility requires you to feel bad about yourself, or at least not to feel good about who you are. Nothing could be further from the truth! Humility does not dictate how you feel about yourself, but it does determine how you express your self-love to those around you. It is humility that requires the love you have for yourself to benefit those around you.

For example, when people are telling a story about something they have accomplished and you have a better story, it is humility that whispers, “Let them have the best story of the day; give them the spotlight.” It is self-love that makes it easy to give others the stage because your soul is not starving for affection or clamoring for attention. Extending God’s love to ourselves first lays a foundation for us to radically love those around us. On the other hand, when we starve our souls of love, we have no source to draw from to truly love others.

LOW SELF-ESTEEM DERAILS HUMILITY

True humility is actually derailed by self-hatred and undermined by low self-esteem. This is because humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is just thinking of yourself less. On the other hand, all self-demeaning thoughts center your attention on your sense of lack, drawing away your affection for God and others.

Humility can learn from the least, is moved by a child, embraces a rebuke, and lives in authenticity. Humility lets others take a bow while you take a seat. It is honor in action and love authenticated. True humility means that you recognize your needs without condemning your soul.

13 SIGNS YOU'RE HUMBLE

Matthew 7:20 says that we can recognize people by their fruit. I love the way the New Living Translation puts it; “Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.” Humility produces beautiful fruit. These are some of the characteristics that will grow out of an overflow of what you’re cultivating in your heart:

1. You know who you are without requiring others to acknowledge your identity.

2. You allow others to get credit for things that should be attributed to you.

3. You take a lower seat than you deserve.

4. You refuse to promote yourself.

5. You allow others to share their accomplishments without sharing yours, especially when yours are greater.

6. You have an attitude that no task is beneath you.

7. You’re honest about your weaknesses.

8. You admit your mistakes.

9. You live below your means.

10. You work to promote others.

11. You’re teachable.

12. You’re correctable.

13. You’re influenceable.

HUMILITY AND SELF-LOVE GO HAND-IN-HAND

Hopefully, by now you are convinced that loving yourself is the key to true Kingdom humility and cultivating a healthy soul, which is the foundation for living abundantly in every area of your life. But how do you practice humility? It all starts with going on a journey of receiving God’s love for yourself and learning to become friends with your own soul. It may not be an overnight fix, but every step of the journey is an invitation to know God more intimately and accept the beautifully intricate way He created you. In a Christian culture that spurns “denying yourself” into “denying every valid need, especially for love,” it’s so important that you take the time to do the hard work to rid yourself of any poverty thinking that may be holding you back. In the end, you’ll find yourself thriving and loving the people around you better than you knew was possible.

So my challenge to you today is to take self-care seriously , to invest in your soul and to understand God’s heart for you to live in abundance! How do you plan to shift the paradigm from self-deprecation to true humility, rooted in receiving God’s love for you? Tell me your thoughts in the comments below!

_____________________________

Many times the people who struggle most with false humility and self-deprecation are spiritual paupers. I know this because I myself struggled for decades with a poverty mindset that relegated me to living like a proverbial pauper whose resources — like love, provision, attention, purpose, and recognition — consistently felt limited. Paupers believe that when someone else receives something, it takes away some of the provision that could be theirs. They surmise that someone else’s blessing costs them. This is because they have not yet learned in the depths of their hearts that they are a child of the King, who can and will provide for every need they have.

I’d like to propose that the revelation of your true identity and learning to love yourself will destroy the spirit of poverty in your life and set you free to live in true humility! This is one of the reasons I wrote my book, Poverty, Riches and Wealth. If you’re longing to live in freedom from lack so you can experience true kingdom abundance in every area of your life, I encourage you to check it out here !

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Kathy's Mother's Day Message

By Kathy Vallotton • May 10, 2025

As Mother’s Day approached, I knew there was no one better to speak into the heart of motherhood than my wife, Kathy. Her life has been a living picture of grace, sacrifice, and Spirit-led strength. I believe her words will bless you the way her life has blessed me. Kris - Today, I want to honor the incredible women who wear the title of “Mother” with grace, strength, and unwavering love. A mother is a guiding light. She illuminates our paths with wisdom and warmth. She is the gentle hand that nurtures us in our earliest days, the fierce protector who stands by us through life’s storms, and the unwavering supporter of our dreams. Many times, Mom, our sacrifices go unnoticed. We juggle countless responsibilities, often putting our own needs aside to ensure the happiness and well-being of our family. That’s just what Moms do! My joy has always come from serving others. What some people call exhausting, I call invigorating! Even when my kids were young, I can't tell you how many sleepless nights I've had, comforting one of my babies because, ‘only Mommy will do.’ Love wins every time! But love has stolen my heart over and over again. In the good times and in the bad, Jesus has always been by my side, my solid rock and my firm foundation. He has been there beside you too! That big “S” that you wear on your chest didn't happen by accident. The bible says that He will never leave me or forsake me. During all of my laughter and through my many tears, He has always guided me in every situation. So when you feel weak, remember He is right by your side. When you don't think that you can move another muscle, He is your biggest cheerleader. When you get into a spot where life feels like more than you can handle, take a look at what the Lord says about you! You are Tenacious. Your perseverance is remarkable. As a Mom, you consistently push through obstacles with unwavering commitment to your goals. You are Courageous. Mom’s often take bold steps, stand up to what they think is just, even when faced with opposition or adversity. You can do this! You are Radiant. The love of Jesus shines brightly to all those who you come in contact with, inspiring positivity and hope. You are Unstoppable. Mom, once you set your sights on a goal, you exhibit an unwavering drive to help your children pursue their dreams and desires. You are Fierce. With a spirit that is unyielding, as a Mom, you will protect your family at all costs. You are Inspiring. Moms believe in their kids. We believe that all things are possible with God and encourage our families to go where no child has ever gone before! Mom, you are the architects of our character, teaching us values of kindness, empathy, and resilience. With every hug, every word of encouragement, you instill in us the confidence to pursue our passions and overcome obstacles. Your laughter brings joy to our lives, while your tears remind us of the depth of your love. As a mom myself, I celebrate not just the role you play but the remarkable individuals you are. You are the heart of the family, the keeper of traditions, and the source of unconditional love. Each moment shared, each lesson taught, and every story told weaves an unbreakable bond that shapes who we are. To all mothers, whether near or far, biological or chosen, your impact is profound and everlasting. Today, we celebrate you, not just for the love you give, but for the incredible people you are. Happy Mother’s Day! Kathy Vallotton

Character and Gifting: Favor with God and Favor with Man

By Kris Vallotton • March 5, 2025

Have you ever felt called to a spiritual role but struggled to find your place in it? Perhaps you've experienced a divine moment where God revealed a prophetic gift in your life, yet you found yourself wondering why others don't seem to recognize or acknowledge it. This tension between divine calling and human recognition can be one of the most challenging aspects of walking in prophetic ministry. I've spoken with countless individuals who believe God has called them to be prophets, yet they feel frustrated when church leadership doesn't immediately recognize their office. They often share powerful testimonies of divine encounters or prophetic words that confirmed their calling. But here's the beautiful truth I've discovered: authentic spiritual authority requires both divine appointment and human recognition. Scripture shows us that even Jesus "increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men" (Luke 2:52). This powerful verse reveals an important principle – spiritual authority flourishes at the intersection of Heaven's approval and earthly recognition. The Bible offers us profound wisdom about this journey of walking out our prophetic calling. Let's explore three essential principles that can help you navigate this path with grace and wisdom. 1. Understand the Process Between Anointing and Appointment King David's story provides one of the most powerful examples of the gap between divine calling and public recognition. When Samuel anointed David as king, the Spirit of the Lord came upon him powerfully – yet David didn't actually become king for fourteen years! During that time, he served faithfully, developed his character, and waited for God's timing. The journey between your prophetic calling and your public commissioning is not an accident – it's divine design. This season of preparation builds the character, wisdom, and spiritual maturity needed to carry the weight of prophetic authority. Just as David was anointed three times – once by God through Samuel and twice by the people – your prophetic gift may require multiple confirmations. Remember that if you have favor with God but not yet with leadership, pushing for recognition prematurely can lead to painful experiences. As Proverbs 18:16 reminds us, " A man's gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men. " Allow your gift to create the space for your ministry rather than trying to force open doors that aren't ready to receive you. 2. Avoid Self-Promotion and Political Maneuvering It’s important to realize that even though your gift is what gets you into the room, your character is the thing that keeps you there. There's a stark warning in Scripture about gaining influence through manipulation rather than divine timing. Absalom, David's son, shows us the danger of winning people's hearts through flattery, false promises, and undermining leadership. He created a following by positioning himself as more accessible and understanding than the established authority. In today's social media age, the temptation toward self-promotion has never been stronger. We can easily build platforms that elevate our image above our character. But true prophetic authority doesn't come through marketing yourself as an expert – it comes through humble service, consistent character, and divine timing. James 4:6 reminds us that " God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. " When we push for recognition prematurely or through manipulation, we may gain a position but miss the protection that comes with proper promotion. Like Joseph, who shared his prophetic dreams prematurely with his brothers, our lack of wisdom can create a much more difficult path to our destiny than God intended. 3. Embrace the Preparation Process The weight of the prophetic office is both invisible and substantial. I've witnessed many genuinely called individuals crumble under the pressure of premature promotion. The apostle Paul wisely instructed that leaders " should first be tested and then let them serve " (1 Timothy 3:10), and warned against laying hands on anyone hastily (1 Timothy 5:22). True preparation for prophetic ministry involves more than just having accurate prophetic words. It requires developing spiritual maturity, biblical understanding, relational wisdom, and emotional health. If you sense a prophetic calling on your life, embrace the preparation process with patience and humility. Serve faithfully where you are. Allow trusted leaders to speak into your life and development. Study the Scriptures diligently. And remember that the process between the promise and the palace is not just necessary – it's a gift that prepares you to succeed when your time comes. My prayer for you is that you would find peace in God's timing for your prophetic journey. May you grow in both favor with God and with people, allowing the Lord to develop in you the character needed to carry His voice with integrity. Let me be clear- the path to your prophetic purpose isn't just about reaching a destination – it's about becoming the person who can faithfully steward the authority that comes with it.

4 Lessons After 50 Years of Marriage

By Kris Vallotton • February 12, 2025

Kathy and I are celebrating our 50th anniversary this year, and we’ve been together for 54. We’ve experienced highs and lows together and built a life I never imagined possible! Over the past 50+ years, we’ve learned a few things that I want to share with you to help your marriage thrive! Know when to sacrifice pleasure for the pursuit of joy. Kathy and I have learned when to sacrifice pleasure for the pursuit of joy; this is the discipline of laying down your life for another. A practical example of this is when people find out we have horses. They say, “Oh wow, Kris, you have horses!” My response to them goes something like this, “No, I don’t have horses. Kathy has horses. I only pay for the horses.” Their next question for me usually is, “Don’t you like horses?” To which I respond, “No, I don’t like horses, but I like Kathy.” You see, I get a lot of joy out of doing what Kathy wants to do. I am willing to sacrifice my own pleasure to pursue what develops joy in our marriage. It’s not one-sided, Kathy does the same for me. 2. Forgiveness restores the standard. If you’ve been in a relationship for any length of time, then you know the honeymoon phase doesn't last forever. The person that you love and cherish at the deepest level is the same person that will stretch, challenge, and offend you. I learned this lesson years ago when my kids were teenagers. I became angry with Kathy in front of them and treated her disrespectfully. An hour later, I apologized, and she forgave me. Colossians 3:13 tells us that “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive". The truth is, forgiveness restores the standard of holiness in us and through us. 3. It’s not bad if your spouse thinks differently than you. Men and women think differently, and this is metaphorically demonstrated in the way they were created. Please understand what I am trying to communicate here. I am not at all trying to dishonor either gender. I know that women and men are equally intelligent. When Kathy and I got married, I didn’t understand marriage or women at all. I was so ignorant that it wasn’t even funny. I just had no value for Kathy’s opinion, while we were making decisions, when she refused to produce the facts for her conclusions. She often prefaced her statements with phrases like, “I feel like...,” “It troubles me that...,” “I don’t feel good about that...,” and so on. But what I learned over time, as many of my great decisions began to turn into mistakes, was that her “It feels like” or “This troubles me” were often a lot more accurate than the so-called facts! As the years have rolled on, I have learned to invite the rest of me, and my other half, my wife, into all of my decisions. And she has learned the same thing. We were made to be together. We are one flesh, a mystery that continues to unfold with time. 4. Vision gives pain a purpose. It is my conviction that we are living in a generation perishing for lack of vision. This is evident in many different areas of life, but I also see it in marriages. Having a vision for your marriage will help you persevere through the harder seasons that you’ll face together. Many years ago I had a vision where I was standing next to this elderly gentleman and could see him perfectly, but the man could not see me. The older man was surrounded by children and grandchildren telling stories about the family's history, lineage, and favor with God. In the vision he said, “And all of this began with your great-great-grandmother and great-great-grandfather.” I looked up and above the mantle of the fireplace and there was a huge portrait of Kathy and me! The Lord spoke to me and said: “You are no longer to live for a ministry—you are to live to leave a legacy! Your children’s children’s children are depending on you leaving them a world in revival. From this day forward, you will live for a generation that you will never see. You are to have a one-hundred-year vision so that you can build from the future.” This vision of our future helped us in developing a strategy to apprehend God’s goals for our lives, and it was the fuel that kept us going in the harder seasons. Consequently, from that day on, we began to build from the future, as the Lord had said. Let me be clear: you don't have to have a literal vision like I did, but you should have a vision and a direction for the future! Your marriage isn’t just about you, it’s about the generations that will follow. The truth is, the way you love, lead, and fight for your marriage today is building a legacy for your children and their children. So take time with your spouse, dream with God, and dream with each other. Get a vision for your family’s future! The breakthrough you experience now will impact the generations to come.

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