Kris Vallotton • May 7, 2017

3 Ways You Could Be Letting Others Think for You

Stop and ask yourself this: the last time someone told you a story, what’s the first thing you did with that? Did you take it for face value, or did you ask the person some questions? However you responded, that is probably your natural go-to way of receiving information. How often do we actually stop and think about the information we’re taking in? Maybe you’ve heard this story before, but I think it’s a great illustration for why we need to truly think for ourselves:


A young woman was preparing a pot roast while her friend looked on. She cut off both ends of the roast, prepared it and put it in the pan. “Why do you cut off the ends?” her friend asked. “I don’t know,” she replied, “my mother always did it that way and I learned how to cook it from her.”

Her friend’s question made her curious about her pot roast preparation. During her next visit home, she asked her mother, “How do you cook a pot roast?” Her mother proceeded to explain and added, “You cut off both ends, prepare it and put it in the pot and then in the oven.” “Why do you cut off the ends?” the daughter asked. Baffled, the mother offered, “That’s how my mother did it and I learned it from her!”

Her daughter’s inquiry made the mother think more about the pot roast preparation. When she next visited her mother in the nursing home, she asked, “Mom, how do you cook a pot roast?” The mother slowly answered, thinking between sentences. “Well, you prepare it with spices, cut off both ends and put it in the pot.” The mother asked, “But why do you cut off the ends?” The grandmother’s eyes sparkled as she remembered, “Well, the roasts were always bigger than the pot that we had back then. I had to cut off the ends to fit it into the pot that I owned.”

THINKING PEOPLE ARE SET APART

When we were young, our parents taught us what we should think about the world. This becomes our natural way of responding to the colossal amounts of information that comes our way each day. Our parents have a mandate to teach us right from wrong, how to interpret the things we see and experience. But as we grow up, it’s so important that we learn the art of thinking for ourselves. I’m not talking about the ability to recount facts or tell me something that happened to you yesterday. That’s not thinking. Remembering and thinking are two different things.

So what sets true thinking people apart from the rest? Thinking people ask questions and have an inquisitive spirit. They don’t take things at face value, but they naturally and immediately think: “Why did that happen? Who did it happen to? How can I get that to recur? Can I reproduce that on a larger scale in others? Was that a sovereign act of God, or did the will of man have anything to do with it?” and so on. Thinking people know how to extract from stories the things that aren’t obvious, sifting through the facts, noticing details and pulling out a deeper meaning and the effects thereof.

Why is this important? Because if you can’t think for yourself you’re missing out on some of the greatest empowerment that God has given us; freedom and the truth that we have been given the mind of Christ. When we unconsciously restrict ourselves to the obvious way of thinking that the world operates under, we miss out on true revelation. And in the worst cases, we choose stupidity and ignorance over innovation. So, do you think for yourself? Truly?

WHY NOT THINK?

Thinking is risky business and some people, whether they realize it or not, don’t want to think. Here are some reasons why:

1. You are afraid to ask questions because you think that your ignorance will be interpreted as stupidity.

Some people believe that if they ask questions, others will think they didn’t believe their story, or that they have no faith. They think that taking things as they are presented is faith. The problem with this is that they never learn how to reproduce testimonies because they have no understanding of why they occur. The truth is that being okay with asking questions shows that you know God as your friend, not your slave master. God loves and invites questions as they’re a gateway to greater connection with Him and understanding of the ways He moves.

2. You are afraid of coming up with a wrong answer or conclusion.

Some people don’t want to be wrong because they equate being wrong with failure. We must realize that every time we get the wrong answer, we have just learned something new. Every wrong answer takes us one step closer to the right answer and even though we may still not know how things work, we’ve at least learned how they don’t work. And progress is worth celebrating along the way to understanding!

3. You don’t like responsibility.

A lot of people don’t want to have to take ownership of things. Coming up with new answers or questions means becoming responsible for the revelation we receive. For example: If I don’t know how someone is doing and I ask them, suddenly I feel responsible for what I know. Thus, in some cases, ignorance is bliss. But are you made to take the easy way out? With greater knowledge comes greater responsibility, but wouldn’t you rather live empowered than in a box closed off to the world around you?

REALLY THINK ABOUT IT

Today I want to challenge you to take an honest self-evaluation of the way you think. Are you a true thinker, or do you have room to grow in this area? If you’ve been living in what you see as blissful ignorance, maybe it’s time to break down the walls that have honestly caged you in. When approaching politics, current events, that big problem at work or obstacles you face in your daily life I encourage you to ask questions, dig deeper, take a story and turn it around in your mind so you can see it from different perspectives. Don’t let any person or culture tell you what to think. 

Allow curiosity and Holy Spirit to be your guide into the reality of heaven all around you. Let me know what you’re thinking in the comments below!

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By Kris Vallotton February 12, 2025
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By Kris Vallotton January 1, 2025
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By Kris Vallotton November 27, 2024
During Christmas of 2012 Kathy and I learned a very valuable lesson about gratitude and entitlement… In years past leading up to Christmas we had always gotten a “Christmas want list” from each of our grandkids. Kathy would go through all the lists and pick out only a few items to buy for each of our grandkids. But that year Kathy decided to get them everything on their list! As we bought gifts our Christmas tree soon began to disappear behind a wall of wrapped presents. Christmas morning came and we gathered as a family as I shared the story of baby Jesus. I finished the story of our savior's birth and started handing out the presents. Over the course of 2 hours lights and ornaments began to emerge as our tree slowly became visible again. Suddenly I heard a whimpering cry to my left. I looked over to see my daughter giving a strong correction to one of her children. 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Sometimes it can be the anger that comes when your coffee order takes too long, or it can be the person who is driving in front of you who's not driving your preferred speed limit. These small seeds of entitlement can take root in our heart and if we’re not careful they can lead to a life led by pride. Gratitude is what breaks entitlement in your life. I’m going to share 3 ways to think differently about gratitude this season. 1. Gratitude is a discipline. Gratitude is not merely a fleeting emotion but a discipline that aligns our hearts with God’s truth and His will. Gratitude requires intentionality, often going against the grain of our natural tendencies to complain or focus on what we lack. Scripture commands us to "give thanks in all circumstances" (1 Thessalonians 5:18), not because life is always easy, but because gratitude acknowledges God’s sovereignty and goodness regardless of our situation. Cultivating gratitude as a discipline trains our souls to see life through the lens of God’s faithfulness, fostering a spirit of humility and trust. It shifts our focus from temporal struggles to eternal promises, rooting our joy in the unchanging nature of God rather than the shifting sands of circumstance. 2. Gratitude changes your attitude about situations Gratitude has the power to transform our perspective on even the most challenging situations. From a biblical standpoint, it shifts our focus from what we lack to what God has already provided, reminding us of His faithfulness and provision. When we choose gratitude, we realign our hearts to trust in God's sovereignty and His ability to work all things for our good (Romans 8:28). This perspective doesn't necessarily change the situation itself, but it changes us —replacing fear, frustration, or bitterness with peace, hope, and contentment. Gratitude reframes trials as opportunities for growth and deepens our awareness of God's presence, enabling us to face life's difficulties with a renewed attitude of faith and trust. 3. Gratitude Cures Entitlement Gratitude is the antidote to entitlement. It shifts our hearts from demanding what we believe we deserve to recognizing every blessing as an unmerited gift from God. Entitlement breeds discontentment, rooted in the false belief that we are owed something, while gratitude humbles us, reminding us that all we have comes from God's grace. As James 1:17 says, "Every good and perfect gift is from above," and acknowledging this truth uproots the pride that fuels entitlement. Instead of fixating on unmet expectations, gratitude cultivates a spirit of thanksgiving, teaching us to celebrate God’s goodness and approach life with humility and joy. In this posture, we find freedom from the restless pursuit of "more" and learn the richness of contentment in Christ. As we reflect on the story of that Christmas morning and the lessons it taught us, it’s clear that gratitude is more than a seasonal sentiment—it’s a heart posture that can reshape our lives. Entitlement may creep in subtly, disguised as disappointment or frustration, but gratitude stands as its cure, redirecting our hearts toward humility and joy. This season, let’s commit to cultivating gratitude—not just for the blessings we see, but for the ways God works in every circumstance. May we remember that every good gift comes from Him, and may our hearts overflow with thanksgiving, transforming how we live, love, and give. What are you grateful for? Share in the comments below!
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