Kris Vallotton • November 1, 2018

Accountability for Sin is Not Condemnation; It’s a Pathway to Freedom

Years ago I traveled to Romania not too long after communism fell. One of the things I learned about the country is that people had to lie to stay alive during communist rule. The government hated Christians, so confession would lead to the imprisonment of their children, the murder of their fathers and/or the rape of their women.


These high stakes of confession resulted in a culture where people turned to lying for protection and therefore it was extremely difficult for them to become whole. Let me explain why…


As we know, the Apostle John said, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9). Therefore, the first step to coming into wholeness is confession. For the Romanian people, the cost of telling the truth was always too high because it demanded that they be killed or imprisoned for their honesty. So then, of course, you can see why lying would be tempting and even become a part of the way they lived their lives!


I find the same culture growing now in the political and religious spheres, where people are challenged to confess their sins and things they’ve done even years ago…but when they do so, they are met by punitive retribution that goes far beyond accountability. They often lose their jobs, their family and the things that are most important to them. Once again, a culture of punishment produces a high price for honesty and vulnerability, and it creates ecosystems where people remain tethered to soul-sickness, sin and shame!


Probably all of us would lie under certain circumstances… for instance to save the lives of our children, or maybe, in our minds, to save our marriage. Recently in the United States we had a situation where a judge supposedly did something wrong 36 years ago, and the media challenged him to confess his sins. It turns out that he probably didn’t do what he was accused of, but the punishment for confession is so great that I don’t think too many people could blame him if he was tempted to hide what happened behind a wall of shame.


If you create a culture of punishment, you will also create a culture where it’s difficult for people to tell the truth!


THE FIRST STEP TOWARDS FREEDOM IS CONFESSION


When we fail and screw up our lives, the pathway to healing is in forgiveness that begins with confession!


Part of the challenge is that sometimes people confess but they never repent! They get addicted to the feeling that happens when we bring our sins into light and the weight of shame falls off of us. The truth is that many times the addiction to confession doesn’t result in true repentance or a turnaround in behavior. Confession is important but if you think it’s the only step to wholeness, you’re missing out on full restoration!


The second step to a prosperous soul is repentance, which means to turn away from sin and actually think differently about it.


The Bible talks about the FRUIT of repentance in Matthew 3:8: “Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God.”


True accountability allows those who confess to really transform. That way, people don’t just rid their sorrows with the habitual confession but rather, they intentionally turn away from their sins and walk in freedom.


ACCOUNTABILITY IS NOT CONDEMNATION


Some people may read this and think, “Well Christians shouldn’t judge others!”


That is true, but that’s really not what I’m talking about! I’m talking about judging the FRUIT in someone’s life as good or bad.


Let’s take a look at an example Jesus set…


When Jesus spoke with the woman caught in adultery in John 8, He said, “‘…Did no one condemn you?’ She said, ‘No one, Lord.’ And Jesus said, ‘I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.’”


Jesus told her to go and sin no more. He also said that this exhortation was not condemnation!


Bringing people into a place of accountability for their failure (the bad fruit in their lives) in a loving and honorable way is not condemnation but rather a pathway to healing, wholeness, and freedom!


CREATING A CULTURE OF REPENTANCE BEGINS WITH YOU


If you want to create a culture where vulnerability is the norm and restoration is the goal after people screw up, you must begin by modeling this yourself!


I learned this lesson years ago when my kids were teen-agers. I became angry with Kathy in front of them and treated her disrespectfully. An hour later, I apologized, and she forgave me.


I later realized that I had disrespected Kathy in front of my teenage kids. So I needed to apologize to them for being a bad example of a husband, or they would grow up believing that my behavior was okay. The next day, I gathered the kids together and asked Kathy and each of the kids to forgive me. “Okay, Dad,” they each said, a little annoyed that I was making such a big deal out of this. “We forgive you. Can we go now?” they pressed. “You can go,” I responded.


I was as glad to get that over with as they were. About a week later, one of our boys came into the kitchen and started being sarcastic with Kathy. I walked into the kitchen and said, “You don’t have permission to talk to my wife like that.”


“You were rude to Mom the other day yourself!” he responded.

“Yes,” I continued, “but you forgave me. Forgiveness restores the standard. When you forgave me, you gave up your right to act the same way that I did because your forgiveness restored me back to the place of honor. I repented. Repentance means to be restored to the pinnacle, the high place.”

“I’m sorry, Mom. I should not have spoken to you that way,” he said humbly. “I forgive you, son,” she said, embracing him.


9 WAYS TO CLEAN UP YOUR MESS AFTER FAILING


It’s very important that after we confess and repent, that we bring forth fruit of repentance which usually begins with cleaning up our mess, as my friend Danny Silk says.


Sin is like dropping a five-gallon bucket of paint in a room and asking yourself, who did the paint get on? Who did our sin affect? All those people deserve our confession and repentance.


Follow these 9 practical steps to a new life after failing:


1) Admit that you’re wrong and that it was no one else’s fault but your own.

2) Ask yourself what the real root cause of your failure is… what’s really wrong?

3) Repent; be truly sorry and change your mind about the core reason why you failed.

4) Clean up your mess; ask forgiveness of everyone and anyone that your failure affected. It doesn’t matter that they failed too. That’s not your business when you are trying to change your own life!

5) Find somebody who’s really strong in the place that you failed and ask them to mentor and disciple you.

6) Ask God to give you strength every day to turn your life around. When you fall down, get right back up and don’t feel sorry for yourself!

7) Refuse to give up; don’t make excuses for your failures or defend yourself when you’re corrected! Receive wise people’s input in your life.

8) Forgive yourself because God has forgiven you. Refuse to live in regret of the past.

9) Have a big YES in your life; find a reason to live for Jesus and a purpose that you are willing to die for!


REPENTANCE FROM SIN BRINGS FREEDOM, 

NOT CONDEMNATION


Failures that we have repented of are no longer the standard that we must bow to. When we asked God and those we hurt to forgive us,we were set back up on the high place that God assigned to us. The truth is that forgiveness restores the standard of holiness in us and through us!


When you repent, you have permission to live happily ever after! That’s God’s gift to you. It’s called mercy and grace. Mercy means that you don’t receive the punishment you deserve, but grace means that you do receive the blessing you didn’t earn. This was all paid for when Jesus died on the cross. Jesus didn’t just die for you, He died as you. You get to live as if you had never failed!


Have you ever had to clean up a mess and then seen God redeem and restore the situation? What gets in the way of you walking in the fruit of repentance? I love reading your comments in the section below, so let me know your thoughts!



THE BLOG

Discover more blog posts

By Kris Vallotton November 20, 2024
For many the Holidays can be one of the most beautiful and anticipated times of the year and yet, for others, it can be filled with stress, striving and the straining of our wallets, time and energy. Some families are able to find fellowship in the festivities, gathered around tables with good tidings and joy. The holidays for them often seem similar to the portrayals in the Hallmark movies. At the same time, others are experiencing the reality of fractured friendships and past memories that fuel feelings of loneliness. The holiday season for this group can often serve as a reminder of brokenness and pain. In such a polarizing season it’s important to be intentional about guarding our hearts against cynicism, loneliness and even sadness. Here are 3 Practical ways to lift your spirits if you find yourself getting down during the holiday season. 1. Remember God’s past miracles and works in your life. Remembrance is one of the most powerful positions we can take when facing an emotionally challenging season. In the Old Testament the Israelites would set up stones of remembrance in the places where God did great miracles. Whenever they would travel past them they could look and remember the things that the Lord did in that place. Recount the seasons and situations in your life where the Lord came through and did the miracle. You could go a step further and write them on a piece of paper and hang it somewhere in your house. Psalm 103:2-5 says, Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. Let me encourage you, if you are struggling to see a moment worthy of memorial in your life, remember that the greatest memorial you have is meeting Jesus, the one who died for your sins and through whom you can have access to and perfect relationship with God the Father. 2. Cultivate thankfulness in your heart no matter how you “feel.” Thankfulness is the fruit of humility and the offspring of gratitude towards God. Giving thanks shouldn’t just be relegated to one day a year, but rather it should be a lifestyle. After all, the power of thankfulness goes far beyond connecting us around a beautiful table. Thankfulness is the door to happiness and the gate to heaven (remember, we enter His gates with thanksgiving). It’s the cure for arrogance, the inoculation for depression and it’s a force against the spirit of entitlement. Thankfulness is the fruit of humility and the offspring of gratitude towards God. Thankfulness has saved many marriages, rescued children from the grips of bitterness, and delivered countless souls from the political spirit. Thankfulness is a field that must be cultivated, weeded and seeded. So what will you do to get the soil of your heart ready this season? I want to challenge you to express thankfulness for the things you see everyday. It could be the meal you had this morning, the ability to connect with your community, or even for the clothes on your back! Take it a step further and express your thanksgiving out loud, even if it's only for you to hear. 3. Fight Isolation and discipline yourself into community. A common pain point for many people during the Holidays is the feeling of loneliness. There’s something about knowing that people gather everywhere that can press the wound of someone that is struggling with loneliness. There is a very real temptation to isolate and wallow in misery. We all have a deep need to feel like we belong to a place or group. This need is healthy because we’re made to live in connection with others. The challenge is, there are countless devices at our fingertips that give us a false sense of community and connection; they are a temporary aid to the deep need for real deep connection . I want to challenge you to pick up your phone and call someone when the temptation to isolate comes up. Find someone to be with, even if it's for a quick coffee or lunch on the weekend. Galatians 6:2 calls us to, “Carry each other's Burdens…” Don’t deny someone the chance to love and care for you. Whether the holidays are your favorite time of year, or you want to fall asleep and wake up in March, I want to encourage you to lean into what God wants to do in your heart for this season. If the holidays are hard for you, let’s believe together that this could be the year of redemption!
By Kris Vallotton November 5, 2024
Have you ever felt the pressure to be perfect? To hide your flaws and present a polished version of yourself to the world? I know I have. But what if I told you that your imperfections are actually your greatest strength? A few years ago I was able to visit Winston Churchill's home, and something seemingly simple struck me. It wasn't the trophies or accolades that covered the walls, but there was a single worn leather cracked chair where Churchill sat and a well-used desk with the finish worn off where he crafted his speeches. It was these imperfections that told a story of a life lived fully, of struggles overcome, of a legacy forged through adversity. In our world of Instagram filters and carefully curated social media profiles and descriptions, we've lost sight of the beauty in our brokenness, the importance of our imperfections. We've forgotten that it's our flaws that make us human, relatable, and ultimately, powerful. The apostle Paul understood this when he wrote, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me" (2 Corinthians 12:9). Paul in his wisdom understood the importance of boasting in his weakness. The wise see weakness as the key to God’s power prevailing at its perfect timing. Let me be clear: God doesn't call us to be perfect. He calls us to be authentic. The challenge is that we don’t typically embrace our weakness in a way that leads to power. So how do we embrace our imperfections and live authentically in a world that demands perfection? Here are 3 ways you can subtly shift your thinking about your imperfections and see the power in your weakness. 1. Acknowledge Your Weaknesses It's time we stop hiding our flaws and start owning them. When we acknowledge our weaknesses, we open ourselves up to growth and connection. Remember, it's in our vulnerability that others find the courage to be real too. There are many people living in denial about their weakness and putting on the mask of perfection. When we don’t acknowledge our weakness we make no room for God’s Power to be made perfect. Weakness does not mean powerlessness. 2. Celebrate Your Unique Journey Your story, with all its ups and downs, is what makes you who you are. Instead of comparing yourself to others, celebrate the unique path God has led you on. Your experiences, even the painful ones, have shaped you and equipped you for your purpose. It’s easy to slip into a victim mindset and go down the winding mental path of “what if”, but your story isn't a surprise to the Lord. 3. Trust the Word of the Lord. There are many stories in the Bible where God would call someone to do something when they are unqualified. He told Moses to be a voice for the people when he had a stutter and He called David to be a King when he was just a boy. What I’m getting at is that God can’t lie. When the Lord has spoken something over you that becomes your truth, but the timing is in His hands. One day at church a woman came up to me and said that I had the mantle of C.S. Lewis. I actually laughed at her and said, “That would have to be God!” I have no education and can’t even spell, let alone write! Writing was most definitely a weakness of mine, but God’s word doesn’t return void. I acknowledged my weakness and trusted the word over my life, I started writing about a year after that. It wasn’t easy at first, it took hard work, discipline, and even tears! Now I’ve written over a dozen books as well as other written content and curriculum. I'm still not very good at spelling, but the Lord's strength is made perfect in my weakness. So today, I challenge you to embrace your flaws. To step out from behind the masks and filters. To be courageously, beautifully, authentically you. Because the world doesn’t need more perfect people; it needs more authentic ones. Remember, in God's economy, it's not the flawless who change the world. It's the broken, the imperfect, the ones who know their need for grace. And that, my friends, is the most beautiful thing of all! Where have you seen God’s power working through your weakness? Share in the comments to bring encouragement to others!
By Kris Vallotton October 2, 2024
In a world that constantly demands our attention, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. Social media, with its endless notifications and comparisons, can fuel stress and anxiety, leaving us depleted and disconnected. The pressure to keep up can quietly erode our sense of peace and well-being, and oftentimes we are left wondering “what happened?” Picture this: It's 2 AM, and you're still laying in bed scrolling through your phone, eyes burning from the blue light. The alarm is set for 6 AM, but sleep seems like a distant dream. You know you should put it away, but something is drawing you back in. Sound familiar? You're not alone. In fact, this scenario is playing out in homes across the world, night after night. But what if I told you that this seemingly innocent habit could be wreaking havoc on your spiritual well being? Beneath the surface of these digital distractions lie deeper spiritual realities. The Bible reminds us that we are not merely bodies or minds, but eternal souls. Ephesians 6:12 says “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” When we lose sight of this truth, we open the door to struggles that impact our mental, emotional, and spiritual health. What I’m getting at is, the enemy will use the physical things of this world to lure us into a spiritual stronghold. Some of the problems that you may be facing today may be more spiritual than you think, but they can be solved in the physical! Proverbs 17:22 tells us, "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." How true this is! But in our fast-paced, always-on world, finding that joy can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. So, how do we reclaim our joy and restore balance to our lives? Let me share with you 4 simple yet powerful physical habits that can lead to a healthier spiritual life: 1. Stop Forsaking Sleep There was a study done quite a few years ago that showed that since the invention of the lightbulb we are getting an hour less of sleep per night than before! Now we have smart phones that charge an arm's length away from our pillows constantly calling for our attention. Psalm 4:8 says “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.” Create a bedtime routine, dim the lights, and put away those screens. Your brain will thank you. 2. Soak Up the Sun We've become a society of cave dwellers, spending most of our time indoors. But our bodies crave sunlight! Make it a point to step outside every day, even if it's just for a few minutes. Let the warmth of the sun remind you of God's constant presence in your life. God made a beautiful creation, go outside and enjoy it! 3. Manage Your Stress In a world where bad news is just a click away, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. The reality is that we weren’t created to be all knowing, and we are unable to bear the burdens of the world. Only Jesus can do that! God tells us in Philippians 4:6-7 , "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Take time to disconnect, pray, cast your cares on him and find peace in His presence. 4. Move Your Body Our ancestors didn't need gym memberships – their daily lives provided all the exercise they needed. While we can't all go back to plowing fields, we can make a conscious effort to incorporate more movement into our days. You don't have to run a marathon, take the stairs, go for a walk, or have a dance party in your living room! Our bodies are wonderfully complex creations, and sometimes, the simplest changes can have the most profound effects. The challenge is to recognize that our mental health is not just about what's happening in our heads – it's about how we're living our lives. It's about the choices we make every day, from when we go to bed, how much time we spend outdoors, and the situations we allow to burden our heart. With all this in mind, I want to encourage you to take a good, hard look at your lifestyle. Are you giving your body and mind what they need to thrive? Or are you, like so many of us, caught up in the whirlwind of modern life, neglecting the basics that keep us balanced? It's time to hold to these small simple habits, and reclaim the joy and peace that God intends for us to have. Take time to reflect—are you giving your body and mind what they need to thrive? Prioritize the small habits that make up your daily life and reclaim the joy and peace God intends for you.
Show More

NEWSLETTER

Get free digital content from Kris with his weekly newsletter

 
Share by: