Kris Vallotton • January 10, 2017

Find Your People, Find Your Destiny

NOT MY TRIBE

I was saved in the Jesus Movement. The Jesus People were a counter-cultural group who lived communally, grew gardens, and ate off the land. Their motto was, “Come out from their midst and be separate,” says the Lord. “And do not touch what is unclean; And I will welcome you.” (2 Corinthians 6:17)

It was an isolationist mindset which, it turned out, was not me. Personally, I loved the Jesus People. We shared a heart for holiness and passion for God, but what they shouted (metaphorically speaking) I whispered, and what I shouted, they whispered. Although I admired them, and many of them are still my friends today, they are not my tribe. I wilted in the shade of their isolation-from-society tree. Their lack of motivation to transform the world drove me crazy. It was a constant point of conflict in our relationships, until I finally decided to move on. It’s important to recognize that one leaning is not necessarily better than the other, but you must identify which way you do lean when you are searching for your people.

8 KINDS OF TRIBES

Scriptures help define us; many of us find ourselves resonating with verses that mold and reveal our attitudes. Here are a few perspectives that may reveal more of who you are and who your people are. If these are the kinds of scriptures you dream about, then find people with the same heart and collaborate with them.

Childlike

It is fair to say that we are all called to be childlike. But for some, childlikeness is more than an attribute, it’s a gene that defines them. Do you connect with the humility of the Lamb of God when He proclaimed, “Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all” (Luke 18:17)? Is your heart’s motto, “Why can’t everyone just love one another and get along?” If you are the kind of person who never really grew up but instead grew in—into Jesus, into His nature, into His virtues— then maybe you will find your people among this tribe: the people who have simple, uncomplicated faith.

Responsible

Maybe you are driven to step out and meet the needs of the broken and hurting in a community. For you, responsibility is job number one! You understand that “love suffers long” (I Corinthians 13:4 NKJV), and you feel fully actualized when you are in the fray, mourning with those who mourn and rejoicing with those who rejoice. If this describes you, then you are more likely to find your people in the cornfield than at the ball field, in the workplace than at the bowling alley.

Servant-Minded

All believers are royalty and, simultaneously, servants of all. Yet some believers are more servant-minded in their natures than others. They feel fully alive when they do practical things for people. The Kingdom has a high value for the attributes of servanthood. Jesus said, “If anyone wants to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all” (Mark 9:35). Your seat of servanthood is your throne of destiny. Is your passion activated through service? Do you naturally think about meeting the needs of people? Do you envision yourself joining others in coordinated efforts to touch the poor or help the broken? If these things are true about you, then these values must be resident in your people in order for you to resonate with them.

Noble

Some of you just reek of royalty. You carry yourself nobly and come across as if you work in the White House. The apostle Paul said, “You are already filled, you have already become rich, you have become kings without us; and indeed, I wish that you had become kings so that we also might reign with you” (1 Corinthians 4:8). Do you envision yourself leading in some arena with a team of top-tier advisors? Do you see yourself more like King David or King Solomon than Joseph or Daniel (who advised kings)? If this is you, you are more likely to meet your people in the community than in the congregation.

Bride-like

The Song of Solomon is the story of two lovers who are so passionate about each other that they make their readers blush. Are you a hopeless romantic? Are you so constantly caught up in romancing the Bridegroom that it seems the rest of life is a bother? Do you value feelings and experiences above tasks and accomplishments? If you answered affirmatively, then passion is the hallmark of your tribal DNA. You probably approach life as the bride does and express yourself through creativity; it’s common to find your tribe in a community of artists, musicians, or dancers—people known for being sensitive, intuitive, prophetic, and creative.

Competitive

I really admire this next tribe. These folks are the Holy Spirit Olympians! For these folks, a minute wasted is a race lost. Paul summed up this lifestyle when he wrote to the church at Corinth, “Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win” (1 Corinthians 9:24). Is this you? Do you feel that life is a competition waiting to be won or an obstacle course that must be conquered? If so, your people will probably be found at a basketball court, gym, or in the outback somewhere climbing a mountain—in any environment with activities requiring intense discipline.

Battle-ready

The battle-ready are as intense as the disciplined athletes, yet for them life isn’t a race, it’s a war! They view the world as a battlefield and see themselves as soldiers who are engaged in an intense struggle against the devil for the souls of men. The apostle Paul was definitely the personification of a soldier and required those who accompanied him to enlist in his “armed forces.” We see this in his exhortation to Timothy when he wrote, “Suffer hardship with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him as a soldier” (2 Timothy 2:3–4).

Hardworking

While some people are soldiers, still others are hardworking farmers. Farmers are plodders; they are consistent and patient people who, through prolonged labor, receive their rewards in harvest seasons. Skilled farmers must be visionaries because they plant trees that yield no harvest for several years. Perhaps this resonates with you? You love to work hard, and you exhibit great patience, knowing your effort will be rewarded in time. You enjoy doing life in different seasons. You love to chill in the winter of life, aware that “He who gathers in summer is a son who acts wisely, but he who sleeps in harvest is a son who acts shamefully” (Proverbs 10:5).

PUTTING ON YOUR TRIBAL GLASSES

I want to challenge you to put your tribal glasses on when you read your Bible. Look for the kingdom attributes and attitudes your heart resonates with as you comb through its pages. Pay attention to the DNA within you so you can discover your people in the world around you. Remember: until you find your people, you can’t fully apprehend your divine destiny because your destiny lies in your people! For more on finding your tribe check out my new book, Destined to Win . Which group do you resonate with? Give a shout out to your tribe in the comments below!

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Character and Gifting: Favor with God and Favor with Man

By Kris Vallotton • March 5, 2025

Have you ever felt called to a spiritual role but struggled to find your place in it? Perhaps you've experienced a divine moment where God revealed a prophetic gift in your life, yet you found yourself wondering why others don't seem to recognize or acknowledge it. This tension between divine calling and human recognition can be one of the most challenging aspects of walking in prophetic ministry. I've spoken with countless individuals who believe God has called them to be prophets, yet they feel frustrated when church leadership doesn't immediately recognize their office. They often share powerful testimonies of divine encounters or prophetic words that confirmed their calling. But here's the beautiful truth I've discovered: authentic spiritual authority requires both divine appointment and human recognition. Scripture shows us that even Jesus "increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men" (Luke 2:52). This powerful verse reveals an important principle – spiritual authority flourishes at the intersection of Heaven's approval and earthly recognition. The Bible offers us profound wisdom about this journey of walking out our prophetic calling. Let's explore three essential principles that can help you navigate this path with grace and wisdom. 1. Understand the Process Between Anointing and Appointment King David's story provides one of the most powerful examples of the gap between divine calling and public recognition. When Samuel anointed David as king, the Spirit of the Lord came upon him powerfully – yet David didn't actually become king for fourteen years! During that time, he served faithfully, developed his character, and waited for God's timing. The journey between your prophetic calling and your public commissioning is not an accident – it's divine design. This season of preparation builds the character, wisdom, and spiritual maturity needed to carry the weight of prophetic authority. Just as David was anointed three times – once by God through Samuel and twice by the people – your prophetic gift may require multiple confirmations. Remember that if you have favor with God but not yet with leadership, pushing for recognition prematurely can lead to painful experiences. As Proverbs 18:16 reminds us, " A man's gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men. " Allow your gift to create the space for your ministry rather than trying to force open doors that aren't ready to receive you. 2. Avoid Self-Promotion and Political Maneuvering It’s important to realize that even though your gift is what gets you into the room, your character is the thing that keeps you there. There's a stark warning in Scripture about gaining influence through manipulation rather than divine timing. Absalom, David's son, shows us the danger of winning people's hearts through flattery, false promises, and undermining leadership. He created a following by positioning himself as more accessible and understanding than the established authority. In today's social media age, the temptation toward self-promotion has never been stronger. We can easily build platforms that elevate our image above our character. But true prophetic authority doesn't come through marketing yourself as an expert – it comes through humble service, consistent character, and divine timing. James 4:6 reminds us that " God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. " When we push for recognition prematurely or through manipulation, we may gain a position but miss the protection that comes with proper promotion. Like Joseph, who shared his prophetic dreams prematurely with his brothers, our lack of wisdom can create a much more difficult path to our destiny than God intended. 3. Embrace the Preparation Process The weight of the prophetic office is both invisible and substantial. I've witnessed many genuinely called individuals crumble under the pressure of premature promotion. The apostle Paul wisely instructed that leaders " should first be tested and then let them serve " (1 Timothy 3:10), and warned against laying hands on anyone hastily (1 Timothy 5:22). True preparation for prophetic ministry involves more than just having accurate prophetic words. It requires developing spiritual maturity, biblical understanding, relational wisdom, and emotional health. If you sense a prophetic calling on your life, embrace the preparation process with patience and humility. Serve faithfully where you are. Allow trusted leaders to speak into your life and development. Study the Scriptures diligently. And remember that the process between the promise and the palace is not just necessary – it's a gift that prepares you to succeed when your time comes. My prayer for you is that you would find peace in God's timing for your prophetic journey. May you grow in both favor with God and with people, allowing the Lord to develop in you the character needed to carry His voice with integrity. Let me be clear- the path to your prophetic purpose isn't just about reaching a destination – it's about becoming the person who can faithfully steward the authority that comes with it.

4 Lessons After 50 Years of Marriage

By Kris Vallotton • February 12, 2025

Kathy and I are celebrating our 50th anniversary this year, and we’ve been together for 54. We’ve experienced highs and lows together and built a life I never imagined possible! Over the past 50+ years, we’ve learned a few things that I want to share with you to help your marriage thrive! Know when to sacrifice pleasure for the pursuit of joy. Kathy and I have learned when to sacrifice pleasure for the pursuit of joy; this is the discipline of laying down your life for another. A practical example of this is when people find out we have horses. They say, “Oh wow, Kris, you have horses!” My response to them goes something like this, “No, I don’t have horses. Kathy has horses. I only pay for the horses.” Their next question for me usually is, “Don’t you like horses?” To which I respond, “No, I don’t like horses, but I like Kathy.” You see, I get a lot of joy out of doing what Kathy wants to do. I am willing to sacrifice my own pleasure to pursue what develops joy in our marriage. It’s not one-sided, Kathy does the same for me. 2. Forgiveness restores the standard. If you’ve been in a relationship for any length of time, then you know the honeymoon phase doesn't last forever. The person that you love and cherish at the deepest level is the same person that will stretch, challenge, and offend you. I learned this lesson years ago when my kids were teenagers. I became angry with Kathy in front of them and treated her disrespectfully. An hour later, I apologized, and she forgave me. Colossians 3:13 tells us that “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive". The truth is, forgiveness restores the standard of holiness in us and through us. 3. It’s not bad if your spouse thinks differently than you. Men and women think differently, and this is metaphorically demonstrated in the way they were created. Please understand what I am trying to communicate here. I am not at all trying to dishonor either gender. I know that women and men are equally intelligent. When Kathy and I got married, I didn’t understand marriage or women at all. I was so ignorant that it wasn’t even funny. I just had no value for Kathy’s opinion, while we were making decisions, when she refused to produce the facts for her conclusions. She often prefaced her statements with phrases like, “I feel like...,” “It troubles me that...,” “I don’t feel good about that...,” and so on. But what I learned over time, as many of my great decisions began to turn into mistakes, was that her “It feels like” or “This troubles me” were often a lot more accurate than the so-called facts! As the years have rolled on, I have learned to invite the rest of me, and my other half, my wife, into all of my decisions. And she has learned the same thing. We were made to be together. We are one flesh, a mystery that continues to unfold with time. 4. Vision gives pain a purpose. It is my conviction that we are living in a generation perishing for lack of vision. This is evident in many different areas of life, but I also see it in marriages. Having a vision for your marriage will help you persevere through the harder seasons that you’ll face together. Many years ago I had a vision where I was standing next to this elderly gentleman and could see him perfectly, but the man could not see me. The older man was surrounded by children and grandchildren telling stories about the family's history, lineage, and favor with God. In the vision he said, “And all of this began with your great-great-grandmother and great-great-grandfather.” I looked up and above the mantle of the fireplace and there was a huge portrait of Kathy and me! The Lord spoke to me and said: “You are no longer to live for a ministry—you are to live to leave a legacy! Your children’s children’s children are depending on you leaving them a world in revival. From this day forward, you will live for a generation that you will never see. You are to have a one-hundred-year vision so that you can build from the future.” This vision of our future helped us in developing a strategy to apprehend God’s goals for our lives, and it was the fuel that kept us going in the harder seasons. Consequently, from that day on, we began to build from the future, as the Lord had said. Let me be clear: you don't have to have a literal vision like I did, but you should have a vision and a direction for the future! Your marriage isn’t just about you, it’s about the generations that will follow. The truth is, the way you love, lead, and fight for your marriage today is building a legacy for your children and their children. So take time with your spouse, dream with God, and dream with each other. Get a vision for your family’s future! The breakthrough you experience now will impact the generations to come.

4 Spiritual Disciplines to Propel Your Growth in the New Year

By Kris Vallotton • January 1, 2025

As we step into 2025, people are often thinking about engaging in the time-honored yet unspoken custom of setting New Year’s Resolutions. Many people jump on the opportunity to develop new healthier habits and pursue positive change with the start of a brand new year. Most New Year's Resolutions revolve around diet and exercise, finances, relationships, and hobbies or personal interests. New Year's Resolutions help by giving people a vision for when they endure the challenges that come with change. Losing 100 pounds or being more diligent with saving money isn't always easy and vision gives pain a purpose! All of these areas are important to focus on, but oftentimes we neglect spiritual topics when forming our resolutions. As we focus on building our physical lives and pursuing health and wholeness with the New Year, it’s crucial not to overlook our spiritual growth and well-being. I’m going to share four spiritual disciplines you can grow in this New Year, along with practical tips to help you follow through. Some of these may appear simple, but when practiced consistently over a long period of time, they can lead to deep transformation! 1. Bible Reading This should come as no surprise, but it can be very difficult to find time on a busy day to sit down and read the Scriptures. Some people have a hard time sitting and being still to read while others are bombarded by the busyness of their lives. I want to encourage you to prioritize your time in the Word this year - I make sure to read at least one chapter each day. It might mean having to sacrifice something. Perhaps it’s waking up earlier to have an extra 30 minutes in your routine. Try leaving your Bible open on your kitchen counter the night before, so you see it in the morning. Maybe you can bring your Bible during your lunch break and have a meal with Jesus. You can even listen to the Bible on audio for your morning commute! My encouragement is to start small and build the habit. 2. Prayer Personal prayer can look different to everyone. Some people have no problem praying for over an hour a day, other people have a hard time finding a moment in an entire week! The goal here is to make sure that we are staying in communion with God. There may be sometimes where you only have two minutes to pray in-between meetings or running errands. There may be other times where you have to go into your room, lock your door and pray in secret for an extended period of time like the Bible says. Let me be clear: the goal is consistent communion with the Father. Try setting reminders or alarms on your phone to go off at certain parts of the day. It doesn't have to be long. These reminders can be specific like, “Pray for my family member” or “Pray for healing for this coworker.” You can write them down on pieces of paper and stick them to the walls in your house. 3. Community This may not feel like a discipline, but one of the most challenging things that a person's spiritual growth could face is solitude. When God created Adam he said that it was not good for man to be alone. We were created for community and Jesus was often found doing ministry and life around a group of people except for the times where he went alone to pray. Stepping out into community can be challenging. Maybe you struggle with fear of rejection, not fitting in, or you're scared of how people will respond when they really begin to know you. If you find yourself being isolated, reach out to some people. Text a friend that you know and trust and share that you want to spend more time around people. If you're part of a local church see what kind of small groups they have to offer. Community is a key for growth in 2025. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” 4. Serving When Jesus was on earth he said in Matthew 20:28 that, “Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” Serving was at the center of Jesus’ ministry. He met the physical needs of people by providing food miraculously as well as the spiritual needs of people by offering salvation to everyone who would believe. When we serve people we are like Christ. There may be people coming to your mind already who have a need. They could be in your church family, or a friend from school or work. It doesn’t have to be someone you know! Try paying for someone’s coffee in line and leaving them with some encouragement. There are so many ways that we can serve people and make them feel seen and loved. When they feel seen and loved, they are often very receptive to the Gospel. The power in these disciplines isn’t just doing them once, but in repeating them over a long period of time. As Zechariah 4:10 reminds us, we should not despise small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin. My prayer for you is that what would start as spiritual disciplines would grow into spiritual devotion. That you would find joy in these things and that they would draw you closer to the Father!

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