Kris Vallotton • October 6, 2015

How I Overcame the Deception of a Vengeful God

Guest blog by Chris Cruz.

On a random and uneventful evening, Heaven was eager. The Holy Spirit rushed into my life and took me straight into His heart. Death and resurrection were my portion that night. I was a new person: the Holy Spirit buried an unsatisfied, hurt life, and raised me into something out of this world. I began walking on a new road that night – a road paved by a passion to know God.

I was a college student at the time. I thought grades, success, money, or anything good was determined by whether God was upset with me. Plainly put, my shortcomings led me to fear His vengeance. He was forgiving, but also punishing. I loved God, but was afraid of Him. Have you ever been there?

I craved clarity – my heart needed a resolve. I felt in over my head. I needed my vision of God to undergo a radical revision. My theology was perpetuated by altar calls from frantic pastors hoping to appease God’s vengeance. I didn’t know anything else!

My unsettled heart manifested in my worship: it became a confession booth. It’s how I kept God at bay. I anticipated His vengeance before His mercy. I imagined blessings as delayed or postponed until further notice. Trusting Him made me weary, because my sin turned Him to Zeus throwing bolts of lightning from the heavens in the form of bad grades and unfortunate events. In my heart of hearts, I knew this needed to change. I couldn’t survive the mood swings of heaven.

My soul was asking what the great theologian A.W. Tozer says is the “gravest question before [man]…what he in his deep heart conceives God to be like.” I didn’t expect what God would uncover for me. I had no clue how God wanted to reveal Himself.

This radical revision of God began with Bill Johnson saying, “Jesus is perfect theology.” This tore through my traditional thoughts on God and the cross. I felt shoved by the Holy Spirit to explore the Scriptures and my theology. I felt urged to go past perceptions, and I found what felt like an entirely different God. God wanted to rescue me, but in a different way. He wanted to rescue me from Himself–well, the false idol I made of Him.

I learned a radical truth, offensive to all religions of the world: Jesus is God’s self-revelation. God is best known in Jesus. God, revealed in His heart of hearts, is exactly like Jesus. This truth changes everything. It tells me Jesus isn’t the nice side of God, but the clearest definition God wanted made of Himself. I started devouring the Gospels, the New Testament’s weighty descriptions of grace, and Jesus Himself as the image of the invisible God.

I found out Jesus isn’t the sideshow of heaven trying to make people feel safe. He’s the EXACT imprint of God’s divine nature! Jesus’ life and ministry leading up to the final act of crucifixion was an UNRAVELING of the flawed and deceptive interpretations of His character. Jesus simultaneously enlightens us to the true revelation of God. I would dare say the self-sacrificing love shown in the crucifixion is what God had in mind as our theological cornerstone.

Christ frames the entire conversation on the nature of God. The Father intended us be confident in His nature by what we see in Christ. The reality of the incarnation of the Word of God rearranged every thought I’ve ever had about Him. I finally met the Father revealed in light of the Son, and scales fell from my eyes as my deception faded away.

Jesus enlightens us to the Father’s true nature.

We can see with new eyes. He’s loving – full of mercy and grace. God desires to be known not by his anger, but by His self-sacrificing love. Known for taking our sin upon Himself rather than punishing us for it.

Two events in the gospel narrative really helped fuel the overcoming of my deception of a vengeful God. The first is in the gospel of John chapter 8 – the woman caught in the act of adultery.

Simply put, the woman is caught in sin and the religious leaders think God’s plan for her is death. They want to inflict vengeance for God via throwing stones at her. It was how they saw God, and it sounds a lot like the God I had in college. These Pharisees who claimed to know God’s character brought her before Jesus.

Jesus, the self-revelation of the Father, gives the entire audience permission to kill the woman under one criteria, the man without sin can throw the first stone. Jesus says they can follow through with their judgment and execute her, but only by the one who can stand under that criteria. That person alone has the right to judge her.

I don’t know if you caught it, but Jesus was talking about Himself. He was the only one without sin. He had the right to punish her – and if He did, then He confirms God’s vengeance toward us. But Jesus doesn’t stone her, and those ready to condemn her left one by one. He picks her up and points out that her condemners left. The only one left, who CAN kill her, forgives her.

HE LETS HER GO! OFF THE HOOK! It’s crazy – before, if I even looked at a woman wrong, I anticipated a week of chaos. This shook me up. My image of God before Christ was ready to throw stones. Heck, I even thought He already threw a few. Jesus enlightened the Father, and pressed the delete button on my vengeful image of God.

The next event that changed my perception was the crucifixion narrative, and the last words of Jesus before death.

Luke 23:34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

A murdered God’s famous last words.

Those are the words labored by Jesus at His crucifixion; His death at the hands of bloodthirsty, violent Romans. An innocent man, dying on the cross. Vengeance feels like a proportionate response to me – but it didn’t with Jesus.

He was handed “every right” by the standard of “fair justice” to give an equal retribution. If there was a moment to start an insurrection and burn the city out of vengeance towards sin, this was it. It was man’s worst crime, the killing of God. The sinful had their way with Christ, murdering Him undeservedly.

Jesus’ response brings the true God into focus with such a convicting blow that it eradicated any remaining fear of His vengeance. Jesus last words hit the ears of His oppressors, telling them there’s a way back – whether the murderers decided to hear it or not. It wasn’t “I will come back for you and your families for your sin.” His justice wasn’t an eye for an eye. He left them with no concern of His revenge.

He left them with a way out, telling them “I don’t count this against you.” This kind of violence and murder creates tyrants out of men, but for God it became the ultimate showcase of His true nature. God decided He wanted reconciling love as the mark of His nature. I love how Miroslav Volf, a Croatian theologian and Professor of Theology at Yale Divinity, depicts the cross. He says it is “the giving up of God’s self in order not to give up on humanity…the arms of the crucified are open—a sign of a space in God’s self and an invitation for the enemy to come in.” The New Testament is clear: we considered God to be our enemy. And His arms were opened up to us.

My vision of God was pleasantly torn down and rebuilt, but this time on the foundation of the incarnate Son of God. The clarity of Christ shakes me with unmatched grace. Worship now transcends any previous height, as I taste His kindness. I no longer keep one eye open around Him to feel safe – His forgiveness eclipses any concern of harm.

This might challenge you, and I imagine your passion for holiness might be reaching for the “but He…” aspects of your theology. Trust me, this isn’t a careless Father. He invites us to attempt to exhaust His inexhaustible kindness, and this leads us to repentance. His trust in the transformational power of His grace shames our attempts to force holiness through punishment. He’s not indifferent or irresponsible with sin – He’s a Father who instead guides us with correction and correction isn’t punishment.

When the MO of heaven is reconciliation, through the means of not counting our trespasses against us, we feel the scandal of His grace. We can obsess over those who abuse grace, while God chooses instead to keep running out to meet them as they return home. I don’t claim to have it all worked out; I understand there’s mystery regarding certain passages of Scripture. I simply want to take seriously the authority Scripture gives to know God through Christ and see Him as the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Jesus overcame my deception of His vengeful alter ego. I come to Him to be clothed and picked up, not embarrassed and punished. He dusts me with off with a holy disregard for my mess and leaves me with no threats. I expect His mercy every morning. My worst moments are opportunities to know His grace. I don’t fear the retribution of a vengeful deity: I wake up basking in His pleasure over me. His kindness has kept me from sin with far greater success then any threats of punishment ever did.

Here are some verses to spend time meditating on:

John 1:18

John 5:36

John 14:9

Luke 6:27-36

Luke 15:11-32

Colossians 1:15

Hebrews 1:1-3

Hebrews 13:8

2 Corinthians 3:7-18

2 Corinthians 4:4-6

2 Corinthians 5:11-21

2 Timothy 1:9-10

1 John 5:20

Bio

Chris Cruz is a husband, pastor, speaker and blogger. He serves on the leadership teams at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry and Tribe Young Adults at Bethel Redding. His role includes preaching, mentoring interns and pastoring students. Chris loves to see the church be a cultural influence for positive change in the world, and he lives to see heaven and earth become one. In his free time, Chris and his wife, Lana, love exploring and experiencing different cultures and cities. Chris is an avid creative, pursuing outlets that vary from graphic design to handmade leather goods. He also has a love for craft coffee and a slight fascination with raw denim.

BLOG: ChrisJosephCruz.com

PODCAST: Equip The Saints with Chris Cruz

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Character and Gifting: Favor with God and Favor with Man

By Kris Vallotton • March 5, 2025

Have you ever felt called to a spiritual role but struggled to find your place in it? Perhaps you've experienced a divine moment where God revealed a prophetic gift in your life, yet you found yourself wondering why others don't seem to recognize or acknowledge it. This tension between divine calling and human recognition can be one of the most challenging aspects of walking in prophetic ministry. I've spoken with countless individuals who believe God has called them to be prophets, yet they feel frustrated when church leadership doesn't immediately recognize their office. They often share powerful testimonies of divine encounters or prophetic words that confirmed their calling. But here's the beautiful truth I've discovered: authentic spiritual authority requires both divine appointment and human recognition. Scripture shows us that even Jesus "increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men" (Luke 2:52). This powerful verse reveals an important principle – spiritual authority flourishes at the intersection of Heaven's approval and earthly recognition. The Bible offers us profound wisdom about this journey of walking out our prophetic calling. Let's explore three essential principles that can help you navigate this path with grace and wisdom. 1. Understand the Process Between Anointing and Appointment King David's story provides one of the most powerful examples of the gap between divine calling and public recognition. When Samuel anointed David as king, the Spirit of the Lord came upon him powerfully – yet David didn't actually become king for fourteen years! During that time, he served faithfully, developed his character, and waited for God's timing. The journey between your prophetic calling and your public commissioning is not an accident – it's divine design. This season of preparation builds the character, wisdom, and spiritual maturity needed to carry the weight of prophetic authority. Just as David was anointed three times – once by God through Samuel and twice by the people – your prophetic gift may require multiple confirmations. Remember that if you have favor with God but not yet with leadership, pushing for recognition prematurely can lead to painful experiences. As Proverbs 18:16 reminds us, " A man's gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men. " Allow your gift to create the space for your ministry rather than trying to force open doors that aren't ready to receive you. 2. Avoid Self-Promotion and Political Maneuvering It’s important to realize that even though your gift is what gets you into the room, your character is the thing that keeps you there. There's a stark warning in Scripture about gaining influence through manipulation rather than divine timing. Absalom, David's son, shows us the danger of winning people's hearts through flattery, false promises, and undermining leadership. He created a following by positioning himself as more accessible and understanding than the established authority. In today's social media age, the temptation toward self-promotion has never been stronger. We can easily build platforms that elevate our image above our character. But true prophetic authority doesn't come through marketing yourself as an expert – it comes through humble service, consistent character, and divine timing. James 4:6 reminds us that " God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. " When we push for recognition prematurely or through manipulation, we may gain a position but miss the protection that comes with proper promotion. Like Joseph, who shared his prophetic dreams prematurely with his brothers, our lack of wisdom can create a much more difficult path to our destiny than God intended. 3. Embrace the Preparation Process The weight of the prophetic office is both invisible and substantial. I've witnessed many genuinely called individuals crumble under the pressure of premature promotion. The apostle Paul wisely instructed that leaders " should first be tested and then let them serve " (1 Timothy 3:10), and warned against laying hands on anyone hastily (1 Timothy 5:22). True preparation for prophetic ministry involves more than just having accurate prophetic words. It requires developing spiritual maturity, biblical understanding, relational wisdom, and emotional health. If you sense a prophetic calling on your life, embrace the preparation process with patience and humility. Serve faithfully where you are. Allow trusted leaders to speak into your life and development. Study the Scriptures diligently. And remember that the process between the promise and the palace is not just necessary – it's a gift that prepares you to succeed when your time comes. My prayer for you is that you would find peace in God's timing for your prophetic journey. May you grow in both favor with God and with people, allowing the Lord to develop in you the character needed to carry His voice with integrity. Let me be clear- the path to your prophetic purpose isn't just about reaching a destination – it's about becoming the person who can faithfully steward the authority that comes with it.

4 Lessons After 50 Years of Marriage

By Kris Vallotton • February 12, 2025

Kathy and I are celebrating our 50th anniversary this year, and we’ve been together for 54. We’ve experienced highs and lows together and built a life I never imagined possible! Over the past 50+ years, we’ve learned a few things that I want to share with you to help your marriage thrive! Know when to sacrifice pleasure for the pursuit of joy. Kathy and I have learned when to sacrifice pleasure for the pursuit of joy; this is the discipline of laying down your life for another. A practical example of this is when people find out we have horses. They say, “Oh wow, Kris, you have horses!” My response to them goes something like this, “No, I don’t have horses. Kathy has horses. I only pay for the horses.” Their next question for me usually is, “Don’t you like horses?” To which I respond, “No, I don’t like horses, but I like Kathy.” You see, I get a lot of joy out of doing what Kathy wants to do. I am willing to sacrifice my own pleasure to pursue what develops joy in our marriage. It’s not one-sided, Kathy does the same for me. 2. Forgiveness restores the standard. If you’ve been in a relationship for any length of time, then you know the honeymoon phase doesn't last forever. The person that you love and cherish at the deepest level is the same person that will stretch, challenge, and offend you. I learned this lesson years ago when my kids were teenagers. I became angry with Kathy in front of them and treated her disrespectfully. An hour later, I apologized, and she forgave me. Colossians 3:13 tells us that “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive". The truth is, forgiveness restores the standard of holiness in us and through us. 3. It’s not bad if your spouse thinks differently than you. Men and women think differently, and this is metaphorically demonstrated in the way they were created. Please understand what I am trying to communicate here. I am not at all trying to dishonor either gender. I know that women and men are equally intelligent. When Kathy and I got married, I didn’t understand marriage or women at all. I was so ignorant that it wasn’t even funny. I just had no value for Kathy’s opinion, while we were making decisions, when she refused to produce the facts for her conclusions. She often prefaced her statements with phrases like, “I feel like...,” “It troubles me that...,” “I don’t feel good about that...,” and so on. But what I learned over time, as many of my great decisions began to turn into mistakes, was that her “It feels like” or “This troubles me” were often a lot more accurate than the so-called facts! As the years have rolled on, I have learned to invite the rest of me, and my other half, my wife, into all of my decisions. And she has learned the same thing. We were made to be together. We are one flesh, a mystery that continues to unfold with time. 4. Vision gives pain a purpose. It is my conviction that we are living in a generation perishing for lack of vision. This is evident in many different areas of life, but I also see it in marriages. Having a vision for your marriage will help you persevere through the harder seasons that you’ll face together. Many years ago I had a vision where I was standing next to this elderly gentleman and could see him perfectly, but the man could not see me. The older man was surrounded by children and grandchildren telling stories about the family's history, lineage, and favor with God. In the vision he said, “And all of this began with your great-great-grandmother and great-great-grandfather.” I looked up and above the mantle of the fireplace and there was a huge portrait of Kathy and me! The Lord spoke to me and said: “You are no longer to live for a ministry—you are to live to leave a legacy! Your children’s children’s children are depending on you leaving them a world in revival. From this day forward, you will live for a generation that you will never see. You are to have a one-hundred-year vision so that you can build from the future.” This vision of our future helped us in developing a strategy to apprehend God’s goals for our lives, and it was the fuel that kept us going in the harder seasons. Consequently, from that day on, we began to build from the future, as the Lord had said. Let me be clear: you don't have to have a literal vision like I did, but you should have a vision and a direction for the future! Your marriage isn’t just about you, it’s about the generations that will follow. The truth is, the way you love, lead, and fight for your marriage today is building a legacy for your children and their children. So take time with your spouse, dream with God, and dream with each other. Get a vision for your family’s future! The breakthrough you experience now will impact the generations to come.

4 Spiritual Disciplines to Propel Your Growth in the New Year

By Kris Vallotton • January 1, 2025

As we step into 2025, people are often thinking about engaging in the time-honored yet unspoken custom of setting New Year’s Resolutions. Many people jump on the opportunity to develop new healthier habits and pursue positive change with the start of a brand new year. Most New Year's Resolutions revolve around diet and exercise, finances, relationships, and hobbies or personal interests. New Year's Resolutions help by giving people a vision for when they endure the challenges that come with change. Losing 100 pounds or being more diligent with saving money isn't always easy and vision gives pain a purpose! All of these areas are important to focus on, but oftentimes we neglect spiritual topics when forming our resolutions. As we focus on building our physical lives and pursuing health and wholeness with the New Year, it’s crucial not to overlook our spiritual growth and well-being. I’m going to share four spiritual disciplines you can grow in this New Year, along with practical tips to help you follow through. Some of these may appear simple, but when practiced consistently over a long period of time, they can lead to deep transformation! 1. Bible Reading This should come as no surprise, but it can be very difficult to find time on a busy day to sit down and read the Scriptures. Some people have a hard time sitting and being still to read while others are bombarded by the busyness of their lives. I want to encourage you to prioritize your time in the Word this year - I make sure to read at least one chapter each day. It might mean having to sacrifice something. Perhaps it’s waking up earlier to have an extra 30 minutes in your routine. Try leaving your Bible open on your kitchen counter the night before, so you see it in the morning. Maybe you can bring your Bible during your lunch break and have a meal with Jesus. You can even listen to the Bible on audio for your morning commute! My encouragement is to start small and build the habit. 2. Prayer Personal prayer can look different to everyone. Some people have no problem praying for over an hour a day, other people have a hard time finding a moment in an entire week! The goal here is to make sure that we are staying in communion with God. There may be sometimes where you only have two minutes to pray in-between meetings or running errands. There may be other times where you have to go into your room, lock your door and pray in secret for an extended period of time like the Bible says. Let me be clear: the goal is consistent communion with the Father. Try setting reminders or alarms on your phone to go off at certain parts of the day. It doesn't have to be long. These reminders can be specific like, “Pray for my family member” or “Pray for healing for this coworker.” You can write them down on pieces of paper and stick them to the walls in your house. 3. Community This may not feel like a discipline, but one of the most challenging things that a person's spiritual growth could face is solitude. When God created Adam he said that it was not good for man to be alone. We were created for community and Jesus was often found doing ministry and life around a group of people except for the times where he went alone to pray. Stepping out into community can be challenging. Maybe you struggle with fear of rejection, not fitting in, or you're scared of how people will respond when they really begin to know you. If you find yourself being isolated, reach out to some people. Text a friend that you know and trust and share that you want to spend more time around people. If you're part of a local church see what kind of small groups they have to offer. Community is a key for growth in 2025. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” 4. Serving When Jesus was on earth he said in Matthew 20:28 that, “Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” Serving was at the center of Jesus’ ministry. He met the physical needs of people by providing food miraculously as well as the spiritual needs of people by offering salvation to everyone who would believe. When we serve people we are like Christ. There may be people coming to your mind already who have a need. They could be in your church family, or a friend from school or work. It doesn’t have to be someone you know! Try paying for someone’s coffee in line and leaving them with some encouragement. There are so many ways that we can serve people and make them feel seen and loved. When they feel seen and loved, they are often very receptive to the Gospel. The power in these disciplines isn’t just doing them once, but in repeating them over a long period of time. As Zechariah 4:10 reminds us, we should not despise small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin. My prayer for you is that what would start as spiritual disciplines would grow into spiritual devotion. That you would find joy in these things and that they would draw you closer to the Father!

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