10 Steps For Saying Goodbye To Insecurities - Kris Vallotton

February 28, 2018

If you follow me on Facebook you know that a few nights ago I wrote a post about struggling with insecurities. I was stuck in my head and telling myself stories about how people felt about me (and they weren’t good stories, to be honest.) But here’s the deal: after processing through this with Kathy, I realized that the insecurities I was feeling were straight-up lies! She said, “That’s stupid! You aren’t failing!” Lol!

Warfare can feel so real but be so irrational. We all need people in our lives that will remind us that our battle is not against flesh and blood! If you are struggling or getting sucked into insecurities, find a wise person that can truth you into reality. If this is more of a common occurrence for you, it’s likely that you need to take a look at the foundation of your identity in Christ.

Confidence In Your Identity Squashes Insecurities

The truth is that sometimes our insecurities are closer friends than just seasons or moments of warfare. When this is the case, we must build our strength in the Lord. Keep reading for a way that you can walk out of insecurity and into confidence in 40 days.

Insecurity relegates you to a small, insignificant place with other scared people. But confidence in your identity will help you to draw other champions around you so that you can together, collaboratively, conquer the promised lands.


  1. Spend a lot of their time comparing themselves to others.
  2. Fear strong, gifted people.
  3. Are only able to feel comfortable around people who need them.
  4. Need to control everyone in their world.
  5.  Build cases against people in their minds to feel better about themselves.
  6.  Take people’s compliments of others as an insult to themselves.
  7.  Think “me” instead of “us.”
  8. Are overly self-conscious.
  9. Live in conflict all the time.


  1. Celebrate others.
  2. Are comfortable around gifted, powerful people.
  3. Love empowering people.
  4. Spend a lot of time thinking about the destiny of others.
  5. See themselves as a catalyst to the destiny of others.
  6. Love themselves and are comfortable with who they are.
  7. Are vulnerable about their weaknesses, flaws, and constraints.
  8. Enjoy seeing others honored.
  9. Live in peace.

10 Steps for Getting Over Insecurities

If you see yourself among the insecure, here are a few things you should do:

  1. Take a 30 minute vacation and ask Jesus what He thinks about you.
  2. Record His insights into your life and meditate on them.
  3. Search the Scriptures for verses about your identity in Christ, and write them on your bathroom mirror. Repeat them as you are getting ready in the morning.
  4. Take a 40 day journey through the life of the people around you. Record at least 3 strengths of everyone who is regularly in your world. This will help change the WAY you think about others. You will get in the habit of looking for gold.
  5. Tell a few close friends about your flaws and your fears. Practice being transparent; it will deliver you from shame.
  6. Take time to consciously imagine the best about two people who intimidate you.
  7. Forgive yourself for any past failure. Re-MIND yourself that you may have failed, but you are not a failure.
  8. Invest in anyone you are jealous of. Then their victory will be your victory.
  9. Write down 50 things you are thankful for.
  10. Write a short note to 5 people you appreciate in your life.

If you do these things for 40 straight days, it will deliver you from the land of insecurity. How else do you conquer your insecurities? Where are you at in this process? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

Topics: All TopicsFreedomIdentity