Kris Vallotton • Apr 12, 2019

6 Ways To Take Care Of Yourself When You’re Depressed

Depression sucks! I know this first-hand. In 2008, my family went through a terrible crisis that lasted more than two years. In the midst of trying to help my family weather the storm, I found myself in my own personal battle for survival. What began as a couple of months of sleepless nights soon became a full-on emotional breakdown.


I laid on my couch in a deep depression for six months; every day was a living hell.


The truth is that I ignored all the warning signs leading up to my crash and soon I was physically, emotionally and spiritually a basket case. I had known stress, anxiety, and warfare before, but this was so intense that I could not will myself off the couch no matter how hard I tried!


If you are dealing with depression today, I know it can feel scary, shameful or even taboo to speak openly about your experience with others in the church. As we talked about last week, unfortunately, there is a religious peer pressure in many Christian circles that silences those who are in pain.


Today I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone and that you don’t have to hide away in shame about your struggle! The truth is that I dealt with anxiety since I was 19 years old and learned great tools and coping mechanisms, but those didn’t all translate into my journey with depression. I had to learn new ways to cope as I began to climb this new mountain. I hope that my experience helps you to feel less alone, to have hope in the face of hopelessness, and to have the courage to take care of yourself through this process! You are worth it!


WE ARE TRI-UNE BEINGS


In my season from hell, I learned that our spirit, soul and body are so intricately intertwined that it’s impossible to affect one part without influencing the other two parts. We often talk about the spirit, soul and body as if they live in separate boxes, but the reality is that life does not really happen that way. Problems can originate in one dimension of our being, but before long, we experience resulting symptoms in all three realms of our personhood.


I can look back on my crash from many years ago now and understand that although my depression affected me emotionally and spiritually, unlike the demonic attack that I experienced years earlier , this crash was actually rooted in the physical dimension of my mind and body.


People from all over the world prayed for me and encouraged me, but until my body chemistry stabilized, I could not function.


ANTIDEPRESSANTS IN THE CHURCH


I have to confess that I had never believed in taking antidepressants. When I preached, I actually made light of people who used them. I still do not think they are a long-term cure for many people, because if used without doing soul-work, they can often mask deeper issues in our lives. However, medications that aide mental illness or mental stability can have a role in helping people function. My son Jason says that sometimes antidepressants make the fight fair, and I know from my own experience this is true.


Some people who suffer from chronic neurotransmitter deficiencies are helped tremendously by such medications. Many healthcare professionals believe that either due to brain injury or genetic predisposition, some people do not have the physical ability to regulate brain chemistry levels normally.


If you think about it, we would never tell someone in the church who has diabetes that if they would just spend more time with God or pray more, they could stop taking their insulin (unless of course, God heals them). Yet that is what we suggest to people whose chemical imbalances have a physical cause. We view mood disorders that are rooted in our physical being, (our brain is an organ just like our pancreas), in a much less accepting manner. Why the double-standard?


Sometimes we need to give people permission to take medication if they need it—which, by the way, is a huge no-no in many Christian circles. Often people are made to feel ashamed for taking such medication. As a result, they wait far longer than they should to get a doctor’s help, and they delay their healing. I know because I am one of them!


We need to extend more grace to people in this area! I was encouraged by caring, well-meaning people not to take medication, but after months of hell and hundreds of hours of research, I decided I needed more medical attention. You really cannot understand how intense depression and anxiety can be unless you have been there yourself. Thankfully, for me, the season of needing medication was short.


PRACTICAL WAYS TO PRACTICE SELF-CARE 

WHEN YOU’RE DEPRESSED


My goal is to help you better understand our triune being and how each of our three parts affects the others so that if you find yourself in a place like I was in, you can seek out the kind of help you need and be made whole. My advice to anyone who has been dealing with high levels of depression, anxiety, and exhaustion for long periods of time is to take action! I know that can seem impossible—it did to me. As I said, I hardly moved off the couch for six months. But you can do some things that will help you through.


1. GO TO THE DOCTOR


Visit a respected healthcare professional and have a complete physical, including blood work that incorporates hormone tests. If the physical part of your mind that regulates brain chemistry is malfunctioning, medical intervention is a necessity. Again, there is no shame in taking medication to get some help!


2. READ THESE BOOKS


I highly recommend “From Panic to Power: Proven Techniques to Calm Your Anxieties, Conquer Your Fears, and Put You in Control of Your Life” by Lucinda Bassett (Harper, 1996). The second book I love is “Who Switched Off My Brain? Controlling Toxic Thoughts and Emotions” by Dr. Caroline Leaf (Thomas Nelson, 2009). I have given away at least fifty of these books. They really helped me in my darkest hour. They contain a wealth of information about brain chemistry and how to detox your thought life.


Thirdly, I recommend “ ReNew: Breaking Free from Negative Thinking, Anxiety, and Depression ” by Julie Winter (Destiny, 2017). And lastly, I recommend “ When God Becomes Real ” by Brian Johnson (Bethel Book Publishing, 2019).*


I’ll also mention that I’ve written about some of my own personal struggles with mental illness in my book, Spirit Wars . I’ve received a ton of great feedback on how this book has helped people!


3. TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY


Take care of your body now more than ever. Do what you have to do to sleep. If you don’t have a regular rhythm to your sleep, it creates anxiety and depression. I personally took melatonin and natural supplements and it didn’t help me so I had to take sleep medication for about a year. I totally get that it’s not fun to take pills but it could be worth it to catch up on sleep and give your brain the rest it desperately needs.


Additionally, force yourself to exercise even when you do not feel like it. Eat healthy food even when you are not hungry. Stay completely away from sugar and caffeine. Get as much sunlight as possible to increase your serotonin levels.


4. LAUGH


Work hard at cultivating upbeat moments, too. Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Watch funny movies or shows that make you laugh a lot. Laughter is natural medicine and it produces dopamine, a happy chemical, in your body. Surround yourself with good friends who will support you in these troubled times. Believe the positive things they say about you, even if their words do not seem real to you.


5. GUARD YOUR MIND


If you are dealing with anxiety, torment, fear, low self-esteem, depression or any other negative emotion, it is very likely that you have forgotten that the Creator of the universe loves you. Do not entertain the enemy’s questions about how valuable you are. Refuse to watch the “what else could go wrong” movie in your mind. Remember that the fear of what could go wrong is often worse than something going wrong. And lastly, guarding your mind may mean taking a break from negative people. Losers may make you feel better about your bad situation, but they won’t help you be a winner.


6. GET OUTSIDE OF YOUR CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCE


When you’re depressed, it doesn’t feel like you want to do anything. Push past that feeling and find a project that you enjoy. Better yet, do something extraordinary and radically generous for someone else!


BE ENCOURAGED TODAY


The things that you need to do when you’re depressed are often the things you don’t want to do. But I propose that this lack of desire to take care of yourself may be keeping you stuck on the couch.


I want to encourage you by letting you know that this will pass! Hold onto this promise from Luke 6:21 which says, “Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.”


In the last few years, I have met hundreds of people from all walks of life—including several world-famous people—who have passed through this kind of thing at some point in their lives. I know that when you are in the middle of it, your worst fear is “Am I going to live like this my entire life?” The answer is no! This always passes. You will be fine! I’m praying for God to heal you today!


What do you do to take care of yourself when you’re depressed? What do you think about this subject? I’d love to hear what you think in the comments below!


*Resource list updated on 4/13.


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4 Physical Habits That Lead To A Healthier Spiritual Life

By Kris Vallotton • 02 Oct, 2024
In a world that constantly demands our attention, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. Social media, with its endless notifications and comparisons, can fuel stress and anxiety, leaving us depleted and disconnected. The pressure to keep up can quietly erode our sense of peace and well-being, and oftentimes we are left wondering “what happened?” Picture this: It's 2 AM, and you're still laying in bed scrolling through your phone, eyes burning from the blue light. The alarm is set for 6 AM, but sleep seems like a distant dream. You know you should put it away, but something is drawing you back in. Sound familiar? You're not alone. In fact, this scenario is playing out in homes across the world, night after night. But what if I told you that this seemingly innocent habit could be wreaking havoc on your spiritual well being? Beneath the surface of these digital distractions lie deeper spiritual realities. The Bible reminds us that we are not merely bodies or minds, but eternal souls. Ephesians 6:12 says “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” When we lose sight of this truth, we open the door to struggles that impact our mental, emotional, and spiritual health. What I’m getting at is, the enemy will use the physical things of this world to lure us into a spiritual stronghold. Some of the problems that you may be facing today may be more spiritual than you think, but they can be solved in the physical! Proverbs 17:22 tells us, "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." How true this is! But in our fast-paced, always-on world, finding that joy can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. So, how do we reclaim our joy and restore balance to our lives? Let me share with you 4 simple yet powerful physical habits that can lead to a healthier spiritual life: 1. Stop Forsaking Sleep There was a study done quite a few years ago that showed that since the invention of the lightbulb we are getting an hour less of sleep per night than before! Now we have smart phones that charge an arm's length away from our pillows constantly calling for our attention. Psalm 4:8 says “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.” Create a bedtime routine, dim the lights, and put away those screens. Your brain will thank you. 2. Soak Up the Sun We've become a society of cave dwellers, spending most of our time indoors. But our bodies crave sunlight! Make it a point to step outside every day, even if it's just for a few minutes. Let the warmth of the sun remind you of God's constant presence in your life. God made a beautiful creation, go outside and enjoy it! 3. Manage Your Stress In a world where bad news is just a click away, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. The reality is that we weren’t created to be all knowing, and we are unable to bear the burdens of the world. Only Jesus can do that! God tells us in Philippians 4:6-7 , "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Take time to disconnect, pray, cast your cares on him and find peace in His presence. 4. Move Your Body Our ancestors didn't need gym memberships – their daily lives provided all the exercise they needed. While we can't all go back to plowing fields, we can make a conscious effort to incorporate more movement into our days. You don't have to run a marathon, take the stairs, go for a walk, or have a dance party in your living room! Our bodies are wonderfully complex creations, and sometimes, the simplest changes can have the most profound effects. The challenge is to recognize that our mental health is not just about what's happening in our heads – it's about how we're living our lives. It's about the choices we make every day, from when we go to bed, how much time we spend outdoors, and the situations we allow to burden our heart. With all this in mind, I want to encourage you to take a good, hard look at your lifestyle. Are you giving your body and mind what they need to thrive? Or are you, like so many of us, caught up in the whirlwind of modern life, neglecting the basics that keep us balanced? It's time to hold to these small simple habits, and reclaim the joy and peace that God intends for us to have. Take time to reflect—are you giving your body and mind what they need to thrive? Prioritize the small habits that make up your daily life and reclaim the joy and peace God intends for you.

3 Practical Steps to Cultivate Courage

By Kris Vallotton • 03 Sep, 2024
In a world where titles and power often overshadow true leadership, courage often stands as the beacon that inspires and unites us. One of my favorite movies is BraveHeart. If you’re unfamiliar with the classic, allow me to paint a picture of the memorable scene. William Wallace, in the shadow of a castle, his makeshift army at his back, is refusing to compromise with tyranny and is fighting for the freedom of his land. With fierce conviction in his conversation with Robert the Bruce, he declares an iconic line that “men follow courage, not titles.” This courage is not about loud declarations or going with the crowd; it's about standing firm, anchored in your beliefs, even when the world tries to sway back and forth. True courage leads with integrity, inspires others to rise, and remains unwavering in the face of adversity. This is the courage that our world needs today—a courage that doesn't echo old ideas, but leads with fresh tenacity and Heaven inspired vision! Psalm 31:24 tells us to “Be strong and let your heart take courage, All you who wait for the Lord.” As we are entering into this new era, the Lord is calling out the courage in people and it is our responsibility to respond to the call and take courage. Here are 3 ways you can be intentional about cultivating courage in your life. 1. Focus on your strengths not your weaknesses. One of the main reasons people don’t act in faith is because they feel an overwhelming sense of inadequacy. It is so easy to inventory our weaknesses and disqualify ourselves from the historic exploits God has assigned to each of us. We forget that Jesus borrowed a couple of fish and some bread from a boy’s lunch box and fed a multitude. The crowd did not eat rice and beans, because the boy brought fish and loaves. Jesus multiplied what the boy had, not what he did not have. God does not care about what you don’t have. He only cares about what you do have. 2. Face your fear Have you thought about the times in the Bible where the Lord told people to not fear. In Joshua 1:9 he tells Joshua, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not be terrified nor dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” I’d like to point out that this was right after Moses, their leader and patriarch for the last 40 years, had died, they were in a new land, and they were about to battle cities that were much larger than them! Fear and uncertainty would be a natural response. Fear is a natural part of life, but it doesn’t have to define us. Courage is what we find on the other side of fear, when we choose to confront it rather than run from it. It is only in facing our fears that we can conquer them and capture our destiny. 3. Take a risk To be courageous, one must be willing to step into the unknown, to take risks without the guarantee of success. It’s in these moments that true bravery is forged. Oftentimes people will choose to live risk averse because of the fear of uncertainty. However, embracing courage means shifting that perspective—recognizing that the potential for growth, discovery, and success lies just beyond the fear. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the decision to act despite it. By focusing on the possibilities rather than the pitfalls, one can transform fear into fuel, propelling them forward into new opportunities and experiences. Courage isn’t always the roaring thunder or the blazing lightning that people often imagine. Oftentimes it’s like the steady heartbeat that keeps us moving when the winds of doubt try to knock us down. My prayer is that you will be able to find that quiet strength within yourself—the kind that persists even when the world around you seems uncertain or overwhelming. Courage doesn’t always have to be loud or dramatic; sometimes, it’s found in the small, everyday acts of resilience and determination. My hope is that you will embrace this gentle faith-filled courage, trusting that it will guide you through life’s challenges, one steady step at a time.

It Takes a Lot of Work to Rest

By Kris Vallotton • 07 Aug, 2024
When was the last time you felt truly rested? I don’t mean just a quick nap or a weekend off, but deep, soul-refreshing rest? You may feel like a weary wanderer, trudging through a chaotic, concrete jungle, each step heavy with exhaustion as you attempt the ascension of the corporate ladder. Or maybe you have a feeling of dark clouds of depletion and fatigue looming overhead, the relentless rain of responsibilities drenching you in weariness, with every breath a battle for a brief respite. In our fast-paced, always-connected world, true rest has become as rare as a quiet moment in Times Square! But what if I told you that constantly toeing the line of burnout isn't what God designed and that it's actually possible to achieve more by doing less? I remember a time when I was running on fumes. I was that man who felt a constant cloud of pressure, worry, and never-ending tasks following me every day. I learned quite a bit about rest during that time, unfortunately, it was at the expense of a three-year mental breakdown, Kathy and I having to uproot our family and move to the mountains of Northern California. It quickly became evident I was in need of a deep-seated rest. The Bible speaks to this need for rest. In fact, God Himself set the example by resting on the seventh day after creation. It wasn’t just the Father though, Jesus modeled rest, by escaping to the mountains multiple times after longer periods of ministry. What I am getting at is, God takes rest very seriously! So much so that He even instructed the Israelites in Leviticus 25:1-7 to farm the land for six years, but in the seventh year, the land was meant to have a Sabbath rest. Did you catch that? Even the land needs rest! The need for rest is something that God constructed in the corners of creation. A lifestyle of true rest is something that many people desire but few actually achieve. The truth is that God has designed us to need rest, it’s not a sign of weakness or vulnerability, but rather has been etched into the fabric of your makeup. Here are 3 things that I’ve realized about rest and some tips you can implement in your life to avoid burnout and experience the benefits of the God-given rest that He has created for us to live in! 1. Rest isn’t a natural response in today’s culture. Have you ever run into someone that you haven’t seen in a while? Maybe it was at the grocery store, or at the local park during your kid's Little League game. You strike up a conversation and one of the first questions that someone asks is “ How have you been? ” Often the response goes something like this, “ Oh I’ve been really busy! ” or “ You know, just working a lot. ” Sometimes people will ask the question outright, “ Are you keeping busy? ” I’d like to point out that in American culture it has become normal to be constantly working and neglect the need for rest! Rest is a kingdom concept that God introduced. Interestingly, it's a principle that many people are eager to ignore Let me be clear: I’m not saying we shouldn’t work hard. As Christians, we should be the hardest working people out there because we are working for the Lord, not just for our boss or company. But if you want to implement a consistent and fulfilling cycle of rest in your life, then you have to be okay with going against the grain of culture and embracing the idea of rest when many people don’t! 2. Rest won’t happen by accident. This is one of the most common misconceptions when it comes to rest… Many people believe that once they “catch up” on their work or “get ahead” of their responsibilities then they will have time to rest. The truth is there will always be another task, meeting, or responsibility lurking around the corner waiting to be done. To make matters worse, in today’s culture, we have access to work at our fingertips through smartphones and laptops. In some ways, it’s a great blessing, it allows people the freedom to work from home, and increases productivity for many businesses. However; it comes at a great cost. We aren’t able to “go home” from work. One practical thing you can do is look at your calendar and create an event called “REST.” Block it out and say no to conflicting calendar invitations and create the time to rest because it won’t happen by accident. 3. Proper rest requires proper boundaries. If you don’t manage your life, others will. If you don’t take care of yourself, no one else will. One of the biggest causes of a congested schedule is overcommitting your yes. The truth is if you want to set boundaries that allow you to rest, you're going to have to say no to opportunities and people. This can be especially hard for recovering people pleasers, but if you value your “no” as much as you value your “yes”, then you will be able to create margin to do things that are truly life-giving, and minimize the things that drain you. Let me leave you with three practical steps that you can take right now to help create more rest among a busy schedule! Embrace the idea of rest even when the culture around you doesn't! Make an event, and schedule “rest” in your calendar. Practice your no to something this week and create margin in your calendar for rest. Oftentimes people will fall into the cycle of working, burning out, and then taking a long vacation in an attempt to fix a foundational issue. I’d like to propose that the solution to consistent burnout is a cycle of regular rest. Some of us are trying to do with vacation what God wants us to do as a lifestyle! I encourage you to ask yourself: Am I resisting rest or embracing it? Have I allowed rest to become a consistent rhythm in my life, or have I relinquished control of my life to my calendar?
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