Kris Vallotton • April 12, 2019

6 Ways To Take Care Of Yourself When You’re Depressed

Depression sucks! I know this first-hand. In 2008, my family went through a terrible crisis that lasted more than two years. In the midst of trying to help my family weather the storm, I found myself in my own personal battle for survival. What began as a couple of months of sleepless nights soon became a full-on emotional breakdown.


I laid on my couch in a deep depression for six months; every day was a living hell.


The truth is that I ignored all the warning signs leading up to my crash and soon I was physically, emotionally and spiritually a basket case. I had known stress, anxiety, and warfare before, but this was so intense that I could not will myself off the couch no matter how hard I tried!


If you are dealing with depression today, I know it can feel scary, shameful or even taboo to speak openly about your experience with others in the church. As we talked about last week, unfortunately, there is a religious peer pressure in many Christian circles that silences those who are in pain.


Today I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone and that you don’t have to hide away in shame about your struggle! The truth is that I dealt with anxiety since I was 19 years old and learned great tools and coping mechanisms, but those didn’t all translate into my journey with depression. I had to learn new ways to cope as I began to climb this new mountain. I hope that my experience helps you to feel less alone, to have hope in the face of hopelessness, and to have the courage to take care of yourself through this process! You are worth it!


WE ARE TRI-UNE BEINGS


In my season from hell, I learned that our spirit, soul and body are so intricately intertwined that it’s impossible to affect one part without influencing the other two parts. We often talk about the spirit, soul and body as if they live in separate boxes, but the reality is that life does not really happen that way. Problems can originate in one dimension of our being, but before long, we experience resulting symptoms in all three realms of our personhood.


I can look back on my crash from many years ago now and understand that although my depression affected me emotionally and spiritually, unlike the demonic attack that I experienced years earlier , this crash was actually rooted in the physical dimension of my mind and body.


People from all over the world prayed for me and encouraged me, but until my body chemistry stabilized, I could not function.


ANTIDEPRESSANTS IN THE CHURCH


I have to confess that I had never believed in taking antidepressants. When I preached, I actually made light of people who used them. I still do not think they are a long-term cure for many people, because if used without doing soul-work, they can often mask deeper issues in our lives. However, medications that aide mental illness or mental stability can have a role in helping people function. My son Jason says that sometimes antidepressants make the fight fair, and I know from my own experience this is true.


Some people who suffer from chronic neurotransmitter deficiencies are helped tremendously by such medications. Many healthcare professionals believe that either due to brain injury or genetic predisposition, some people do not have the physical ability to regulate brain chemistry levels normally.


If you think about it, we would never tell someone in the church who has diabetes that if they would just spend more time with God or pray more, they could stop taking their insulin (unless of course, God heals them). Yet that is what we suggest to people whose chemical imbalances have a physical cause. We view mood disorders that are rooted in our physical being, (our brain is an organ just like our pancreas), in a much less accepting manner. Why the double-standard?


Sometimes we need to give people permission to take medication if they need it—which, by the way, is a huge no-no in many Christian circles. Often people are made to feel ashamed for taking such medication. As a result, they wait far longer than they should to get a doctor’s help, and they delay their healing. I know because I am one of them!


We need to extend more grace to people in this area! I was encouraged by caring, well-meaning people not to take medication, but after months of hell and hundreds of hours of research, I decided I needed more medical attention. You really cannot understand how intense depression and anxiety can be unless you have been there yourself. Thankfully, for me, the season of needing medication was short.


PRACTICAL WAYS TO PRACTICE SELF-CARE 

WHEN YOU’RE DEPRESSED


My goal is to help you better understand our triune being and how each of our three parts affects the others so that if you find yourself in a place like I was in, you can seek out the kind of help you need and be made whole. My advice to anyone who has been dealing with high levels of depression, anxiety, and exhaustion for long periods of time is to take action! I know that can seem impossible—it did to me. As I said, I hardly moved off the couch for six months. But you can do some things that will help you through.


1. GO TO THE DOCTOR


Visit a respected healthcare professional and have a complete physical, including blood work that incorporates hormone tests. If the physical part of your mind that regulates brain chemistry is malfunctioning, medical intervention is a necessity. Again, there is no shame in taking medication to get some help!


2. READ THESE BOOKS


I highly recommend “From Panic to Power: Proven Techniques to Calm Your Anxieties, Conquer Your Fears, and Put You in Control of Your Life” by Lucinda Bassett (Harper, 1996). The second book I love is “Who Switched Off My Brain? Controlling Toxic Thoughts and Emotions” by Dr. Caroline Leaf (Thomas Nelson, 2009). I have given away at least fifty of these books. They really helped me in my darkest hour. They contain a wealth of information about brain chemistry and how to detox your thought life.


Thirdly, I recommend “ ReNew: Breaking Free from Negative Thinking, Anxiety, and Depression ” by Julie Winter (Destiny, 2017). And lastly, I recommend “ When God Becomes Real ” by Brian Johnson (Bethel Book Publishing, 2019).*


I’ll also mention that I’ve written about some of my own personal struggles with mental illness in my book, Spirit Wars . I’ve received a ton of great feedback on how this book has helped people!


3. TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY


Take care of your body now more than ever. Do what you have to do to sleep. If you don’t have a regular rhythm to your sleep, it creates anxiety and depression. I personally took melatonin and natural supplements and it didn’t help me so I had to take sleep medication for about a year. I totally get that it’s not fun to take pills but it could be worth it to catch up on sleep and give your brain the rest it desperately needs.


Additionally, force yourself to exercise even when you do not feel like it. Eat healthy food even when you are not hungry. Stay completely away from sugar and caffeine. Get as much sunlight as possible to increase your serotonin levels.


4. LAUGH


Work hard at cultivating upbeat moments, too. Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Watch funny movies or shows that make you laugh a lot. Laughter is natural medicine and it produces dopamine, a happy chemical, in your body. Surround yourself with good friends who will support you in these troubled times. Believe the positive things they say about you, even if their words do not seem real to you.


5. GUARD YOUR MIND


If you are dealing with anxiety, torment, fear, low self-esteem, depression or any other negative emotion, it is very likely that you have forgotten that the Creator of the universe loves you. Do not entertain the enemy’s questions about how valuable you are. Refuse to watch the “what else could go wrong” movie in your mind. Remember that the fear of what could go wrong is often worse than something going wrong. And lastly, guarding your mind may mean taking a break from negative people. Losers may make you feel better about your bad situation, but they won’t help you be a winner.


6. GET OUTSIDE OF YOUR CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCE


When you’re depressed, it doesn’t feel like you want to do anything. Push past that feeling and find a project that you enjoy. Better yet, do something extraordinary and radically generous for someone else!


BE ENCOURAGED TODAY


The things that you need to do when you’re depressed are often the things you don’t want to do. But I propose that this lack of desire to take care of yourself may be keeping you stuck on the couch.


I want to encourage you by letting you know that this will pass! Hold onto this promise from Luke 6:21 which says, “Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.”


In the last few years, I have met hundreds of people from all walks of life—including several world-famous people—who have passed through this kind of thing at some point in their lives. I know that when you are in the middle of it, your worst fear is “Am I going to live like this my entire life?” The answer is no! This always passes. You will be fine! I’m praying for God to heal you today!


What do you do to take care of yourself when you’re depressed? What do you think about this subject? I’d love to hear what you think in the comments below!


*Resource list updated on 4/13.


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Character and Gifting: Favor with God and Favor with Man

By Kris Vallotton • March 5, 2025
Have you ever felt called to a spiritual role but struggled to find your place in it? Perhaps you've experienced a divine moment where God revealed a prophetic gift in your life, yet you found yourself wondering why others don't seem to recognize or acknowledge it. This tension between divine calling and human recognition can be one of the most challenging aspects of walking in prophetic ministry. I've spoken with countless individuals who believe God has called them to be prophets, yet they feel frustrated when church leadership doesn't immediately recognize their office. They often share powerful testimonies of divine encounters or prophetic words that confirmed their calling. But here's the beautiful truth I've discovered: authentic spiritual authority requires both divine appointment and human recognition. Scripture shows us that even Jesus "increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men" (Luke 2:52). This powerful verse reveals an important principle – spiritual authority flourishes at the intersection of Heaven's approval and earthly recognition. The Bible offers us profound wisdom about this journey of walking out our prophetic calling. Let's explore three essential principles that can help you navigate this path with grace and wisdom. 1. Understand the Process Between Anointing and Appointment King David's story provides one of the most powerful examples of the gap between divine calling and public recognition. When Samuel anointed David as king, the Spirit of the Lord came upon him powerfully – yet David didn't actually become king for fourteen years! During that time, he served faithfully, developed his character, and waited for God's timing. The journey between your prophetic calling and your public commissioning is not an accident – it's divine design. This season of preparation builds the character, wisdom, and spiritual maturity needed to carry the weight of prophetic authority. Just as David was anointed three times – once by God through Samuel and twice by the people – your prophetic gift may require multiple confirmations. Remember that if you have favor with God but not yet with leadership, pushing for recognition prematurely can lead to painful experiences. As Proverbs 18:16 reminds us, " A man's gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men. " Allow your gift to create the space for your ministry rather than trying to force open doors that aren't ready to receive you. 2. Avoid Self-Promotion and Political Maneuvering It’s important to realize that even though your gift is what gets you into the room, your character is the thing that keeps you there. There's a stark warning in Scripture about gaining influence through manipulation rather than divine timing. Absalom, David's son, shows us the danger of winning people's hearts through flattery, false promises, and undermining leadership. He created a following by positioning himself as more accessible and understanding than the established authority. In today's social media age, the temptation toward self-promotion has never been stronger. We can easily build platforms that elevate our image above our character. But true prophetic authority doesn't come through marketing yourself as an expert – it comes through humble service, consistent character, and divine timing. James 4:6 reminds us that " God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. " When we push for recognition prematurely or through manipulation, we may gain a position but miss the protection that comes with proper promotion. Like Joseph, who shared his prophetic dreams prematurely with his brothers, our lack of wisdom can create a much more difficult path to our destiny than God intended. 3. Embrace the Preparation Process The weight of the prophetic office is both invisible and substantial. I've witnessed many genuinely called individuals crumble under the pressure of premature promotion. The apostle Paul wisely instructed that leaders " should first be tested and then let them serve " (1 Timothy 3:10), and warned against laying hands on anyone hastily (1 Timothy 5:22). True preparation for prophetic ministry involves more than just having accurate prophetic words. It requires developing spiritual maturity, biblical understanding, relational wisdom, and emotional health. If you sense a prophetic calling on your life, embrace the preparation process with patience and humility. Serve faithfully where you are. Allow trusted leaders to speak into your life and development. Study the Scriptures diligently. And remember that the process between the promise and the palace is not just necessary – it's a gift that prepares you to succeed when your time comes. My prayer for you is that you would find peace in God's timing for your prophetic journey. May you grow in both favor with God and with people, allowing the Lord to develop in you the character needed to carry His voice with integrity. Let me be clear- the path to your prophetic purpose isn't just about reaching a destination – it's about becoming the person who can faithfully steward the authority that comes with it.

4 Lessons After 50 Years of Marriage

By Kris Vallotton • February 12, 2025
Kathy and I are celebrating our 50th anniversary this year, and we’ve been together for 54. We’ve experienced highs and lows together and built a life I never imagined possible! Over the past 50+ years, we’ve learned a few things that I want to share with you to help your marriage thrive!  Know when to sacrifice pleasure for the pursuit of joy. Kathy and I have learned when to sacrifice pleasure for the pursuit of joy; this is the discipline of laying down your life for another. A practical example of this is when people find out we have horses. They say, “Oh wow, Kris, you have horses!” My response to them goes something like this, “No, I don’t have horses. Kathy has horses. I only pay for the horses.” Their next question for me usually is, “Don’t you like horses?” To which I respond, “No, I don’t like horses, but I like Kathy.” You see, I get a lot of joy out of doing what Kathy wants to do. I am willing to sacrifice my own pleasure to pursue what develops joy in our marriage. It’s not one-sided, Kathy does the same for me. 2. Forgiveness restores the standard. If you’ve been in a relationship for any length of time, then you know the honeymoon phase doesn't last forever. The person that you love and cherish at the deepest level is the same person that will stretch, challenge, and offend you. I learned this lesson years ago when my kids were teenagers. I became angry with Kathy in front of them and treated her disrespectfully. An hour later, I apologized, and she forgave me. Colossians 3:13 tells us that “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive". The truth is, forgiveness restores the standard of holiness in us and through us. 3. It’s not bad if your spouse thinks differently than you. Men and women think differently, and this is metaphorically demonstrated in the way they were created. Please understand what I am trying to communicate here. I am not at all trying to dishonor either gender. I know that women and men are equally intelligent. When Kathy and I got married, I didn’t understand marriage or women at all. I was so ignorant that it wasn’t even funny. I just had no value for Kathy’s opinion, while we were making decisions, when she refused to produce the facts for her conclusions. She often prefaced her statements with phrases like, “I feel like...,” “It troubles me that...,” “I don’t feel good about that...,” and so on. But what I learned over time, as many of my great decisions began to turn into mistakes, was that her “It feels like” or “This troubles me” were often a lot more accurate than the so-called facts! As the years have rolled on, I have learned to invite the rest of me, and my other half, my wife, into all of my decisions. And she has learned the same thing. We were made to be together. We are one flesh, a mystery that continues to unfold with time. 4. Vision gives pain a purpose. It is my conviction that we are living in a generation perishing for lack of vision. This is evident in many different areas of life, but I also see it in marriages. Having a vision for your marriage will help you persevere through the harder seasons that you’ll face together. Many years ago I had a vision where I was standing next to this elderly gentleman and could see him perfectly, but the man could not see me. The older man was surrounded by children and grandchildren telling stories about the family's history, lineage, and favor with God. In the vision he said, “And all of this began with your great-great-grandmother and great-great-grandfather.” I looked up and above the mantle of the fireplace and there was a huge portrait of Kathy and me! The Lord spoke to me and said: “You are no longer to live for a ministry—you are to live to leave a legacy! Your children’s children’s children are depending on you leaving them a world in revival. From this day forward, you will live for a generation that you will never see. You are to have a one-hundred-year vision so that you can build from the future.” This vision of our future helped us in developing a strategy to apprehend God’s goals for our lives, and it was the fuel that kept us going in the harder seasons. Consequently, from that day on, we began to build from the future, as the Lord had said. Let me be clear: you don't have to have a literal vision like I did, but you should have a vision and a direction for the future! ​​Your marriage isn’t just about you, it’s about the generations that will follow. The truth is, the way you love, lead, and fight for your marriage today is building a legacy for your children and their children. So take time with your spouse, dream with God, and dream with each other. Get a vision for your family’s future! The breakthrough you experience now will impact the generations to come.

4 Spiritual Disciplines to Propel Your Growth in the New Year

By Kris Vallotton • January 1, 2025
As we step into 2025, people are often thinking about engaging in the time-honored yet unspoken custom of setting New Year’s Resolutions. Many people jump on the opportunity to develop new healthier habits and pursue positive change with the start of a brand new year. Most New Year's Resolutions revolve around diet and exercise, finances, relationships, and hobbies or personal interests. New Year's Resolutions help by giving people a vision for when they endure the challenges that come with change. Losing 100 pounds or being more diligent with saving money isn't always easy and vision gives pain a purpose! All of these areas are important to focus on, but oftentimes we neglect spiritual topics when forming our resolutions. As we focus on building our physical lives and pursuing health and wholeness with the New Year, it’s crucial not to overlook our spiritual growth and well-being. I’m going to share four spiritual disciplines you can grow in this New Year, along with practical tips to help you follow through. Some of these may appear simple, but when practiced consistently over a long period of time, they can lead to deep transformation! 1. Bible Reading This should come as no surprise, but it can be very difficult to find time on a busy day to sit down and read the Scriptures. Some people have a hard time sitting and being still to read while others are bombarded by the busyness of their lives. I want to encourage you to prioritize your time in the Word this year - I make sure to read at least one chapter each day. It might mean having to sacrifice something. Perhaps it’s waking up earlier to have an extra 30 minutes in your routine. Try leaving your Bible open on your kitchen counter the night before, so you see it in the morning. Maybe you can bring your Bible during your lunch break and have a meal with Jesus. You can even listen to the Bible on audio for your morning commute! My encouragement is to start small and build the habit. 2. Prayer Personal prayer can look different to everyone. Some people have no problem praying for over an hour a day, other people have a hard time finding a moment in an entire week! The goal here is to make sure that we are staying in communion with God. There may be sometimes where you only have two minutes to pray in-between meetings or running errands. There may be other times where you have to go into your room, lock your door and pray in secret for an extended period of time like the Bible says. Let me be clear: the goal is consistent communion with the Father. Try setting reminders or alarms on your phone to go off at certain parts of the day. It doesn't have to be long. These reminders can be specific like, “Pray for my family member” or “Pray for healing for this coworker.” You can write them down on pieces of paper and stick them to the walls in your house. 3. Community This may not feel like a discipline, but one of the most challenging things that a person's spiritual growth could face is solitude. When God created Adam he said that it was not good for man to be alone. We were created for community and Jesus was often found doing ministry and life around a group of people except for the times where he went alone to pray. Stepping out into community can be challenging. Maybe you struggle with fear of rejection, not fitting in, or you're scared of how people will respond when they really begin to know you. If you find yourself being isolated, reach out to some people. Text a friend that you know and trust and share that you want to spend more time around people. If you're part of a local church see what kind of small groups they have to offer. Community is a key for growth in 2025. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” 4. Serving When Jesus was on earth he said in Matthew 20:28 that, “Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” Serving was at the center of Jesus’ ministry. He met the physical needs of people by providing food miraculously as well as the spiritual needs of people by offering salvation to everyone who would believe. When we serve people we are like Christ. There may be people coming to your mind already who have a need. They could be in your church family, or a friend from school or work. It doesn’t have to be someone you know! Try paying for someone’s coffee in line and leaving them with some encouragement. There are so many ways that we can serve people and make them feel seen and loved. When they feel seen and loved, they are often very receptive to the Gospel. The power in these disciplines isn’t just doing them once, but in repeating them over a long period of time. As Zechariah 4:10 reminds us, we should not despise small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin. My prayer for you is that what would start as spiritual disciplines would grow into spiritual devotion. That you would find joy in these things and that they would draw you closer to the Father!
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