Kris Vallotton • April 25, 2019

How to Hold Fast to the Real Gospel Without Watering Down Love

There is so much confusion today around the love of God. God is love, but it seems people are questioning what love looks like and how it behaves. This questioning has gone so far as to examine and even doubt the reality of moral absolutes.

I have seen that the lack of understanding around the love of God has given birth to some very strange theology that is being preached worldwide. In a confused effort to love people, many Christians have chosen to normalize sin so as to not offend or hurt those who are living in sin. The result? A culture of powerless people who remain shackled to their addictions and imprisoned by their ever-changing passions!

In fact, the unhealthy need for some churches to reconcile people to themselves instead of to God has the ability to undermine the congregation’s journey to wholeness and reduce them to spineless sinners. Unlike Jesus, many leaders in the 21st century are obsessed with wooing masses with sophistication, wowing them with articulation, and keeping them with clever motivation.

This misguided theology, built on a foundation of a misunderstanding of God’s love, is reshaping mainstream culture, shifting people’s mindsets and changing the behavior of entire communities. I believe that God has ordained us to be cultural architects and as such, we need to be concerned about what is shaping our communities! At what point does our Christian compliance become destructive to our congregations…our silence a doormat…and our sympathy a license for those who perpetrate evil?

Being a virtue-less cesspool so that dirty people (all of us get dirty at times) don’t feel bad about being dirty, undermines our divine call to help filthy people get clean!

LOVING WITH CONVICTION

Don’t get me wrong, I know that most leaders are simply doing their best without intention to mislead! For many church leaders, the ability to share a message without offending anyone or convicting the congregation is viewed as an art that must be mastered. But in an effort to love all people, we sometimes miss this foundational truth: there is no such thing as love without conviction!

For example, love is loyal therefore disloyalty brings conviction. Love is pure so impurity causes conviction. Love always tells the truth therefore lying brings conviction. Love always hopes so hopelessness breeds conviction.

1 John 4:1 says, “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.” I’m not going to talk about false prophets today but I do want to talk about love.

John continues in verse 16: “We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”

The point that John is making is that God IS love and He is the SOURCE of all love. It should be noted here that love isn’t God, but God is love!

There is a big difference between saying, “My dog is a girl and my girl is a dog!” I propose that these are not interchangeable. We shouldn’t make a God out of love but instead, see love as a manifestation of our connection with God. When we make love a god instead of the attribute of knowing God, we perform for love instead of from love. Furthermore, when we search for love, we can miss the author of love!

How do we love people and stand by our convictions? We must love others MORE THAN we love our convictions, but we can’t love others INSTEAD OF our convictions.

As many people point out, Jesus forgave the woman caught in adultery. YES, it’s true, but He also loved her enough to exhort her to, “Go and sin no more.”

NORMALIZING SIN DOES NOT PRODUCE FREEDOM

Let me be clear — it’s not that Christians are better than anybody else — no way! We have simply acknowledged our sin and our need for a Savior. In other words, we know we have a problem and we’ve allowed God to provide the solution. But there is no solution until we acknowledge our problem. It’s impossible to help someone with a problem they don’t believe they have.

The truth is that certain sins might be common (and/or politically correct), but they’re never normal. Furthermore, making sin acceptable undermines any chance for a real resolution. Leaving people hopelessly stuck in their sin isn’t loving; it’s ridiculous, cruel, reckless and irresponsible.

Jesus died to save sinners FROM sin not TO sin!

GRACE ISN’T CHEAP!

Let me put it like this: everyone needs mercy and grace to recover from failure (sin). Mercy means you don’t get what you deserve (punishment). Mercy pardons us. Grace means you get what you don’t deserve, (the power to change). In other words, grace empowers us into holiness. But the only way to receive mercy and experience grace is to admit you are wrong, (this is called confession), and agree that you want to change, (this is called repentance).

If you normalize sin by insisting your behavior is not sinning, and is instead “just who you are”, then you can’t receive mercy or grace because both require you to be wrong.

Therefore, I defend your right to sin, (as long you are not sinning against someone else), but I will never agree to normalizing sin in culture or my community because, in doing so, I would be agreeing to leave hurting people in their pain.

TAKING ACTION WITH COMPASSION

So then, how do we help those who are living in sin, which inevitably produces pain in their lives?

We must hold fast to the TRUTH that you are not the temptations you resist — no matter how strong the pull is towards sin in your life or how long it’s been going on. You are only the virtues you embrace!

Compassion is so important in our lives and it must be the central theme in everything we do. But compassion alone is often not enough to make a difference. When Jesus drove the moneychangers out of the temple; turning over their tables and chasing them with a whip, He wasn’t overcome with compassion, He was filled with zeal! (See John 2:17.)

The Greek root word for “zeal” in this passage is “zeo.” Zeo means “to boil over,” or “to be hot or fervent”! At the risk of sounding like I am promoting rage or violence, I must point out that Jesus was overcome with “zeo”…and He was done being passive with the moneychangers. His blood was boiling and they were about to get a piece of His mind! Can you imagine the disciples telling Jesus, “Jesus you need to chillax… calm down,”…or, “people are going to misunderstand you?” No WAY! Jesus loves people but compassion must be accompanied with zeal to see real change.

Let me be clear, I am NOT advocating violence or even force; I am simply saying that we must brave the politically correct spirit and take a stand for righteousness, speak up for morality, and refuse to be passive.

THE FIGHT FOR MORALITY

Morality is now being fought in the cribs of our babies, the wombs of our mothers and in the classroom of the youngest of children. I am not sure sympathy is working! I will not stand by in silence and watch my grandchildren bulldozed into the cesspool of immorality, castrated in the name of tolerance or mutilated for the sake of diversity.

I will love everyone no matter their convictions but I won’t be a doormat to those who want to shove sin down the throat of our children! I will fight for the rights of everyone to have the freedom to make their own choices as they see fit. For instance, what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedrooms is not the business of government. However, I will not allow people to intimidate me into normalizing perversion in the lives of our CHILDREN.

What I’m getting at today is that love is not passive! We are commanded to speak the truth in love. Any peace that happens at the expense of morality is not worth having. Solving conflict by selling our souls, or more accurately — the souls of our children — is a price not worth paying! Freedom always comes with a price and the day we decide to stop paying the bill by being willing to take a stand for morality is the day we have begun the short journey back to a concentration camp of slavery.

HOW WILL YOU TAKE ACTION?

Whatever you may be thinking, if you simply keep your thoughts to yourself you will not stand a chance at making a difference in the world. Even if it means that expressing your voice looks different from your neighbor, start today! You may risk being misunderstood, which nobody enjoys, but anyone who does anything great will be; it just goes with the territory. Jesus’ ministry was steeped in misunderstandings and frankly, sometimes He seemed to rather enjoy it. Like the time He gave His “You must eat my flesh and drink My blood,” message. (See John 6:35-69). We must take courage, be bold, and use the voice that God has given us to speak the truth in kindness!

How do you make your voice heard on issues of morality without compromising love? How do you love others without compromising your moral convictions? I’d love to hear your thoughts, process, insights and real-life examples in the comments below!

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Kathy's Mother's Day Message

By Kathy Vallotton • May 10, 2025

As Mother’s Day approached, I knew there was no one better to speak into the heart of motherhood than my wife, Kathy. Her life has been a living picture of grace, sacrifice, and Spirit-led strength. I believe her words will bless you the way her life has blessed me. Kris - Today, I want to honor the incredible women who wear the title of “Mother” with grace, strength, and unwavering love. A mother is a guiding light. She illuminates our paths with wisdom and warmth. She is the gentle hand that nurtures us in our earliest days, the fierce protector who stands by us through life’s storms, and the unwavering supporter of our dreams. Many times, Mom, our sacrifices go unnoticed. We juggle countless responsibilities, often putting our own needs aside to ensure the happiness and well-being of our family. That’s just what Moms do! My joy has always come from serving others. What some people call exhausting, I call invigorating! Even when my kids were young, I can't tell you how many sleepless nights I've had, comforting one of my babies because, ‘only Mommy will do.’ Love wins every time! But love has stolen my heart over and over again. In the good times and in the bad, Jesus has always been by my side, my solid rock and my firm foundation. He has been there beside you too! That big “S” that you wear on your chest didn't happen by accident. The bible says that He will never leave me or forsake me. During all of my laughter and through my many tears, He has always guided me in every situation. So when you feel weak, remember He is right by your side. When you don't think that you can move another muscle, He is your biggest cheerleader. When you get into a spot where life feels like more than you can handle, take a look at what the Lord says about you! You are Tenacious. Your perseverance is remarkable. As a Mom, you consistently push through obstacles with unwavering commitment to your goals. You are Courageous. Mom’s often take bold steps, stand up to what they think is just, even when faced with opposition or adversity. You can do this! You are Radiant. The love of Jesus shines brightly to all those who you come in contact with, inspiring positivity and hope. You are Unstoppable. Mom, once you set your sights on a goal, you exhibit an unwavering drive to help your children pursue their dreams and desires. You are Fierce. With a spirit that is unyielding, as a Mom, you will protect your family at all costs. You are Inspiring. Moms believe in their kids. We believe that all things are possible with God and encourage our families to go where no child has ever gone before! Mom, you are the architects of our character, teaching us values of kindness, empathy, and resilience. With every hug, every word of encouragement, you instill in us the confidence to pursue our passions and overcome obstacles. Your laughter brings joy to our lives, while your tears remind us of the depth of your love. As a mom myself, I celebrate not just the role you play but the remarkable individuals you are. You are the heart of the family, the keeper of traditions, and the source of unconditional love. Each moment shared, each lesson taught, and every story told weaves an unbreakable bond that shapes who we are. To all mothers, whether near or far, biological or chosen, your impact is profound and everlasting. Today, we celebrate you, not just for the love you give, but for the incredible people you are. Happy Mother’s Day! Kathy Vallotton

Character and Gifting: Favor with God and Favor with Man

By Kris Vallotton • March 5, 2025

Have you ever felt called to a spiritual role but struggled to find your place in it? Perhaps you've experienced a divine moment where God revealed a prophetic gift in your life, yet you found yourself wondering why others don't seem to recognize or acknowledge it. This tension between divine calling and human recognition can be one of the most challenging aspects of walking in prophetic ministry. I've spoken with countless individuals who believe God has called them to be prophets, yet they feel frustrated when church leadership doesn't immediately recognize their office. They often share powerful testimonies of divine encounters or prophetic words that confirmed their calling. But here's the beautiful truth I've discovered: authentic spiritual authority requires both divine appointment and human recognition. Scripture shows us that even Jesus "increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men" (Luke 2:52). This powerful verse reveals an important principle – spiritual authority flourishes at the intersection of Heaven's approval and earthly recognition. The Bible offers us profound wisdom about this journey of walking out our prophetic calling. Let's explore three essential principles that can help you navigate this path with grace and wisdom. 1. Understand the Process Between Anointing and Appointment King David's story provides one of the most powerful examples of the gap between divine calling and public recognition. When Samuel anointed David as king, the Spirit of the Lord came upon him powerfully – yet David didn't actually become king for fourteen years! During that time, he served faithfully, developed his character, and waited for God's timing. The journey between your prophetic calling and your public commissioning is not an accident – it's divine design. This season of preparation builds the character, wisdom, and spiritual maturity needed to carry the weight of prophetic authority. Just as David was anointed three times – once by God through Samuel and twice by the people – your prophetic gift may require multiple confirmations. Remember that if you have favor with God but not yet with leadership, pushing for recognition prematurely can lead to painful experiences. As Proverbs 18:16 reminds us, " A man's gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men. " Allow your gift to create the space for your ministry rather than trying to force open doors that aren't ready to receive you. 2. Avoid Self-Promotion and Political Maneuvering It’s important to realize that even though your gift is what gets you into the room, your character is the thing that keeps you there. There's a stark warning in Scripture about gaining influence through manipulation rather than divine timing. Absalom, David's son, shows us the danger of winning people's hearts through flattery, false promises, and undermining leadership. He created a following by positioning himself as more accessible and understanding than the established authority. In today's social media age, the temptation toward self-promotion has never been stronger. We can easily build platforms that elevate our image above our character. But true prophetic authority doesn't come through marketing yourself as an expert – it comes through humble service, consistent character, and divine timing. James 4:6 reminds us that " God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. " When we push for recognition prematurely or through manipulation, we may gain a position but miss the protection that comes with proper promotion. Like Joseph, who shared his prophetic dreams prematurely with his brothers, our lack of wisdom can create a much more difficult path to our destiny than God intended. 3. Embrace the Preparation Process The weight of the prophetic office is both invisible and substantial. I've witnessed many genuinely called individuals crumble under the pressure of premature promotion. The apostle Paul wisely instructed that leaders " should first be tested and then let them serve " (1 Timothy 3:10), and warned against laying hands on anyone hastily (1 Timothy 5:22). True preparation for prophetic ministry involves more than just having accurate prophetic words. It requires developing spiritual maturity, biblical understanding, relational wisdom, and emotional health. If you sense a prophetic calling on your life, embrace the preparation process with patience and humility. Serve faithfully where you are. Allow trusted leaders to speak into your life and development. Study the Scriptures diligently. And remember that the process between the promise and the palace is not just necessary – it's a gift that prepares you to succeed when your time comes. My prayer for you is that you would find peace in God's timing for your prophetic journey. May you grow in both favor with God and with people, allowing the Lord to develop in you the character needed to carry His voice with integrity. Let me be clear- the path to your prophetic purpose isn't just about reaching a destination – it's about becoming the person who can faithfully steward the authority that comes with it.

4 Lessons After 50 Years of Marriage

By Kris Vallotton • February 12, 2025

Kathy and I are celebrating our 50th anniversary this year, and we’ve been together for 54. We’ve experienced highs and lows together and built a life I never imagined possible! Over the past 50+ years, we’ve learned a few things that I want to share with you to help your marriage thrive! Know when to sacrifice pleasure for the pursuit of joy. Kathy and I have learned when to sacrifice pleasure for the pursuit of joy; this is the discipline of laying down your life for another. A practical example of this is when people find out we have horses. They say, “Oh wow, Kris, you have horses!” My response to them goes something like this, “No, I don’t have horses. Kathy has horses. I only pay for the horses.” Their next question for me usually is, “Don’t you like horses?” To which I respond, “No, I don’t like horses, but I like Kathy.” You see, I get a lot of joy out of doing what Kathy wants to do. I am willing to sacrifice my own pleasure to pursue what develops joy in our marriage. It’s not one-sided, Kathy does the same for me. 2. Forgiveness restores the standard. If you’ve been in a relationship for any length of time, then you know the honeymoon phase doesn't last forever. The person that you love and cherish at the deepest level is the same person that will stretch, challenge, and offend you. I learned this lesson years ago when my kids were teenagers. I became angry with Kathy in front of them and treated her disrespectfully. An hour later, I apologized, and she forgave me. Colossians 3:13 tells us that “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive". The truth is, forgiveness restores the standard of holiness in us and through us. 3. It’s not bad if your spouse thinks differently than you. Men and women think differently, and this is metaphorically demonstrated in the way they were created. Please understand what I am trying to communicate here. I am not at all trying to dishonor either gender. I know that women and men are equally intelligent. When Kathy and I got married, I didn’t understand marriage or women at all. I was so ignorant that it wasn’t even funny. I just had no value for Kathy’s opinion, while we were making decisions, when she refused to produce the facts for her conclusions. She often prefaced her statements with phrases like, “I feel like...,” “It troubles me that...,” “I don’t feel good about that...,” and so on. But what I learned over time, as many of my great decisions began to turn into mistakes, was that her “It feels like” or “This troubles me” were often a lot more accurate than the so-called facts! As the years have rolled on, I have learned to invite the rest of me, and my other half, my wife, into all of my decisions. And she has learned the same thing. We were made to be together. We are one flesh, a mystery that continues to unfold with time. 4. Vision gives pain a purpose. It is my conviction that we are living in a generation perishing for lack of vision. This is evident in many different areas of life, but I also see it in marriages. Having a vision for your marriage will help you persevere through the harder seasons that you’ll face together. Many years ago I had a vision where I was standing next to this elderly gentleman and could see him perfectly, but the man could not see me. The older man was surrounded by children and grandchildren telling stories about the family's history, lineage, and favor with God. In the vision he said, “And all of this began with your great-great-grandmother and great-great-grandfather.” I looked up and above the mantle of the fireplace and there was a huge portrait of Kathy and me! The Lord spoke to me and said: “You are no longer to live for a ministry—you are to live to leave a legacy! Your children’s children’s children are depending on you leaving them a world in revival. From this day forward, you will live for a generation that you will never see. You are to have a one-hundred-year vision so that you can build from the future.” This vision of our future helped us in developing a strategy to apprehend God’s goals for our lives, and it was the fuel that kept us going in the harder seasons. Consequently, from that day on, we began to build from the future, as the Lord had said. Let me be clear: you don't have to have a literal vision like I did, but you should have a vision and a direction for the future! Your marriage isn’t just about you, it’s about the generations that will follow. The truth is, the way you love, lead, and fight for your marriage today is building a legacy for your children and their children. So take time with your spouse, dream with God, and dream with each other. Get a vision for your family’s future! The breakthrough you experience now will impact the generations to come.

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