Why Self-Talk Matters - Kris Vallotton

July 26, 2017

Self-talk is one of the highest impacting forces on your life. The kingdom you believe you have within you will be the kingdom you reproduce around you. Therefore, what you believe about yourself will determine how you behave. I believe that our inner thoughts, the things we’re silently speaking over ourselves day in and day out, manifest themselves in our relationships, careers and destinies. This may not be new news to some of you, but sometimes negative self-talk can sneak in if we aren’t consciously aware of how we’re relating to our very own souls. So what name do you speak over yourself every day? Is it “failure” or “winner” or some other alias?


An important distinction to make when we consider how we’re thinking about ourselves, and therefore the culture we’re breeding in our minds, is the difference between conviction and condemnation. Condemnation is from the devil, and it says, “You lied, therefore you must be a liar.” Or “You got drunk, so you must be an alcoholic.” Once the devil convinces you that your behavior IS your identity, then he can leave you alone because you will always DO your BE.

Conviction is from the Holy Spirit. When you behave badly, conviction says, “You are way too awesome to be acting like that. Stop it! You are acting below your identity.” So when taking inventory of your thoughts, make sure you’re not partnering with the voice of condemnation. Trust me when I say condemnation is a bold-faced lie not worth a second of your time.

Whats Your Alias?

If you receive an alias name, you will spend your life trying not to act out your identity. Calling someone a loser, an alcoholic, a whore, a dummy, etc. relegates them to either act out their “name” or build an accountability system that can try to police them into purity.

For example, I love the Alcoholics Anonymous program, except for the standard introduction: “Hi, I’m John and I’m an alcoholic.” I understand what the program is trying to accomplish: confess your sins so you can be forgiven, and admit you have a problem so you can be helped. (You can’t help someone who doesn’t have a problem). BUT I am not my behavior unless I believe I am. Consequently, AA, by it’s own admission, never cures anyone. At best, they simply modify their behavior.

You simply can’t cure a person by convincing them that they are one thing, and then building a system to help them behave differently! Therefore, you relegate people to a lifetime of meetings that are designed to keep them from drinking. This is much better then getting drunk and wrecking your family, so thank you AA! However, it never restores you to your true identity; it only shackles your bad actions.


But the Bible says that we are nobility, royalty, and children of God Himself. That’s the truth and it will set you free, instead of simply modifying your behavior! Today I want to encourage you to take some time with Holy Spirit and let Him search your thoughts. Take note of the names you’ve been speaking over yourself, or the alias’ that others have tried to mask you in throughout your life. Then hand them over to God and let Him breathe the freedom-bringing truth over you. Write it down and choose it everyday.

What are false names that people have spoken over you, and what is God saying over you instead? Let me know in the comments below.

Topics: All TopicsFreedomIdentity